And looking into his nephew's eyes, he pictured the future he would never have.
He might try to deny it.
He’ll tell me I’m enough.
However, the moment I just witnessed, the one between him and his nephew, tells a different story entirely.
You’re going to break up with him?” The question stings because I don’t want to, I don’t want to think about that, but I also don’t know where we go from here.
“I don’t want to.”
“Tate, kids are not a thing you can compromise on,” Ember whispers. “Sure, if you wanted two kids and he wanted four, maybe you could meet in the middle and have three, but you don’t wantany. It’s not fair to either of you.”
“And even if Fletcher tells you he’s fine with not having kids,” Maia begins, “you know that—”
“There’s always a chance he changes his mind?” I ask. “Or is lying to me and will resent me for it in the future?”
“I wasn’t going to say that, but yeah, kind of.”
“I don’t know. I believed Fletcher when he said I was enough, and I know he would never try to pressure me to have kids in the future unless I came to him first and said I changed my mind. But after spending time with his family, seeing him with Theo even more, I realized—”
“How much he’d be sacrificing?” Brinley reaches for my hands.
“Yeah. The thought of him giving up something he’s always wanted for me just doesn’t feel right. But I can’t promise him I’ll change my mind.”
I never thought a conversation about having kids would be something I’d be having before I even graduated from college. Since it’s been bought up, though, it’s hard to ignore it.
“So, what are you going to do?” Maia asks.
“I don’t know. I’ve even thought about whether it’s the pregnancy aspect or the idea of being a mom, and I think I just don’t wantto be a mom. I don’t have any desire to raise a family, and I feel like that makes me sound like a bitch, but—”
“No, it doesn’t,” Brin sighs. “Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you have to want kids or have kids, regardless of what the world wants us to believe.”
“You’re allowed to make that decision for yourself, and I think it says a lot about you that you’re still worried about Fletcher not getting the family he dreamed of, even if he tells you it’s not a big deal.”
“I appreciate you guys.” I give a small smile. “I will say I’m not any closer to figuring out what I’m going to do about this situation. So, in terms of that, you guys suck, and this whole conversation was unhelpful.”
“What can I say?” Brin grins, “We try.”
forty-four
Fletcher
Something is going on with Tate. It’s like we’re back at the beginning of the year when she was distant, and I don’t like it.
“What are you scared of?” Jere leans back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other, and taking a long sip of his black coffee.
Jere, Becca, and I are hanging out at the coffee shop where Becca and I have become regulars since we met at that party during our first semester.
“I don’t know. Last time Tate started acting this way, our friendship almost ended.”
“You were also seeing someone who was kind of a bitch to her in high school and also acting distant, so I wouldn’t say it was all on Tate.” Becca shrugs.
“Okay, I get that, but now I’m worried that I rushed us into this relationship, and she’s starting to have second thoughts about all of it.”
“Fletch, did you ever think she was worried about the fact that you want a family and she doesn’t?” Jeremy’s eyes soften as if this is a concern Tate has already expressed to him, and he’s trying to make sure the idea gets across to me.
“That’s a pretty big thing to disagree on.” Becca bites the tip of her straw before taking a sip.
