“Hey, girlie.” Stella wraps her arm around me, resting her head on my shoulder. “What’re you doing out here?”
“Honestly,” I rest my head on top of hers, “taking a break.”
“The Reed family finally becoming too much for you?”
“Not necessarily, just thinking.”
Thinking about how happy Fletcher looks every time he’s holding his nephew. Every time I watch the two of them together, I feel a pit in my stomach. I don’t know if it’s guilt or confusion, but what I do know is I don’t like it.
“Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, how would you feel about me adding to that plate of yours?” She lifts her head, and I turn around to face her, resting against the railing.
“Uh oh.”
“It’s not bad, well, hopefully it’s not bad.”
“You’re not helping the situation.”
“Chase and I want you to be Theo’s Godmother.” She reaches for my hands. “Now, you can totally say no; I know you don’t want to have kids, but I thought, I mean, you know how important you are to us and—”
“Y-you really want me to be his Godmother?”
I don’t know why they would choose me. I guess I’ve been in their life, and they in mine, for quite some time, but I never would’ve expected this.
“You aren’t just asking me because Fletcher and I are together, right? I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose me—”
“We chose you because we love you. And if you’re interested, we’d love you to be Theo’s Godmother.”
“Would it be wrong of me to think about it?”
“Not at all. I know it’s a big decision.”
She gives me a bright smile before pulling me in for a long embrace.
The back door opens, and Fletcher walks out, bouncing Theo in his arms.
“You guys won’t believe this. He’s smiling at me.” His eyes leave us and meet Theo’s. “Isn’t that right, buddy? Yes, it is; you love your Uncle Fletcher, don’t you?”
“Are you sure it’s not just gas?” I cross my arms. “He’s kind of young to be smiling already.”
“Well, your Auntie Tate doesn’t think you were smiling at me,” he continues. “I think you need to prove her wrong, don’t you. Come on, Theo, smile at Uncle Fletcher.”
Stella and I watch Fletcher make various funny faces at Theo, hoping one lands and earns him a smile.
After a few attempts, one of his faces finally gets a little smile.
Fletcher’s eyes light up, bopping Theo’s nose with his finger. “There you go, buddy, see, they didn’t believe you were smiling at me. They thought you were too small, but I told them, yes, I did.”
Theo’s gummy smile gets wider. I don’t know if it’s just reflexes, gas, or if seeing Fletcher’s face really lights up his own that way.
Fletcher’s eyes leave Theo’s, and then they find me, just for a second, and then they’re back to Theo.
I saw it, though, the shift in his expression. The smile never completely left his face, but a hollowness lingered in his eyes. A twinge of pain.
My stomach drops at the thought of this all sinking in for him. The fact is, he’ll never have what Chase and Stella have because I’m not willing to give it to him.
