“You shouldn’t have let him.”
Carus barked out a harsh laugh. “It was that, or let him attempt to kill everyone in that house when they tried to stop him.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Does anyone else know I left?”
“Not yet,” Carus muttered. “But they will soon, and they will not be happy!”
She ignored his outburst, glancing at Morgen. “You knew, though.”
“Of course,” Morgen said, voice impatient. His eyes kept darting to where her legs dangled, and she wondered if he knew just how dark her thoughts had turned. “For several reasons, which I will explain once you get off the cliff.”
“As if I’m going to jump,” she said bitterly.
His eyes grew hard. “Why? Because you don’t want to, or because you know it will kill me too?” When she didn’t bother replying, he paled, eyes so dull, they looked nearly black. “I thought so.”
“It would be for the best, and I would do it if I could,” she said in a hollow voice.
Carus’ eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, but Morgen cut him off with a snarl. “Don’teverfucking say that again.”
She didn’t reply, staring at the churning water below, imagining howeasyit would be. Easier for her to not have to feel this pain, easier for this world and especially for the council of principals. She did not actively want to die, but she was so tired of the burden of living.
“Nya,” Morgen said, his voice much softer now, almost a plea. “Come away from the cliff.”
She shut her eyes, digging her fingertips into the dirt below.
Breathe,he said down the pathway.Just breathe. You’re not alone in this, I promise.
She opened her eyes, finding a pale white moth flitting through the air in front of her. It flapped its delicate wings and then disappeared behind her, toward Morgen and Carus, away from the cliff. A small thing of simple beauty, one of many tiny facets that made this world what it was. If she died, so would Morgen, and everything would be reduced to ash. She did not want that.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and scooted back, away from the edge. When she settled on the ground, picking at the small blades of grass beneath her, Carus eyed her warily.
Morgen ducked out of Carus’ grip, his eyes on Nya as he said, “Be somewhere else for a while.”
To his credit, Carus didn’t hesitate, meandering towards the nearby patch of trees. Once he was out of sight, Morgen sat down next to her. She didn’t look at him, not even as she whispered, “This is my fault. All of it.”
He was silent for a long minute. Then, he said, “Maybe it is.”
She turned her head in surprise. “So why are you here?”
He lifted a hand and brushed his fingers under her chin, tilting it so she had no choice but to look directly at him. “Lots of reasons.”
“Care to explain this time?”
He didn’t balk at the bite in her tone. He just stroked his thumb up her cheek and said, “Because if it’s your fault, it’s mine too.”
“That’s not?—”
“Because Carus wasn’t lying—I would have done anything to reach you now. Having a bunch of dead principals on my hands would definitely not help my cause.”
“Which you need to return to. There are lots of people counting on you?—”
“Andbecause if you’re going to throw in the towel and decide you’re done with it, I’d prefer to be there with you than die alone in some stuffy room.”
Her breath caught, and she shook her head. “I wouldn’t have actually done it. The world might be better without me, but it needs you.”
“Screw the world.”
“You don’t mean that.”
