“Can I sit?”
He doesn’t answer, but he shifts slightly more to the side.
I lower myself onto the cold slate tiles beside him. From up here, I can see the tree line where he disappeared earlier. The garden where everything fell apart. Villeneuve’s property feels like a miniature kingdom, blissfully separate from the rest of campus.
We sit in silence for a while. I don’t know how long, but the sky shifts from purple to deep blue, stars beginning to prick through the darkness.
“I’m sorry,” I say finally once I realize the perfect words aren’t going to come. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Killian turns to look at me. In the fading light, his features are hard to read but his eyes are clear. There’s no yellow in them right now, just exhaustion and resignation, which scares me even more.
“I’m not upset at you.”
I blink. “What?”
“I’m upset with myself.” He looks away again, out at the darkening landscape. “For what happened in the garden. For not making you feel like it was safe to tell me.”
“That’s not—“ I stop, choosing my words carefully. “That’s not true, Killian. You’ve never done anything to make me feel unsafe. None of you have.”
“Then why didn’t you tell us?”
The question drops into the pit of my stomach. It’s a fair and simple question, but impossible to answer without admitting something I didn’t want to face.
But I’m done keeping secrets.
“Because I knew you’d attack him,” I say quietly. “But I never should have kept it from you. I should have trusted you, the way you’ve always trusted me, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
Killian is silent for a long moment.
“And because you care about him.”
I freeze.
“That wasn’t an accusation.” His voice is devoid of any judgment or anger, and so is his gaze when I can finally bring myself to meet it again. “If it’s true, if you’re somehow his mate and ours, it’s natural for you to care about him. Even love him.”
The wordlovemakes my heart twist in my chest. I don’t know what to say. Don’t know what I feel, really, beyond a complicated tangle of emotions I haven’t had time to examine.
“It’s not like what I feel for you,” I manage. “For any of you. I don’t... I don’t know him. I don’t trust him. But...” I trail off, swallowing hard. “One day I might. Maybe. If he ever lets me in. But it’s a moot point, because he clearly doesn’t actually want a mate.”
Killian gives a dry laugh. “He wantsyou. That much is obvious.”
“Killian…”
“He’s a psycho, but he’s not stupid.” Killian shakes his head. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. One alpha to another, it’s as plain as his god complex.”
“Villeneuve is an alpha?” I echo in disbelief, hating my brain for latching onto that fact out of everything.
He scoffs. “What else? He’s a dragon. Pretty sure they’re all alphas. Which explains why they’re the most dickish species on the planet and fucked themselves into extinction.”
“I guess I can see that,” I murmur.
“If there’s one good thing about alphas, it’s that we know what we want,” he says in a dry tone. “Doesn’t mean we know how to get it.”
I don’t have an argument for that. Villeneuve’s behavior has been confusing from the start, pushing me away with one hand while pulling me closer with the other. But that’s not what matters right now.
“If you’re not upset because of him,” I say slowly, “then why haven’t you come home?”
Killian goes still.
