Noah rolled his shoulders and regarded the other man, finding slight dejection in his delicate features. IfBarbatos was still around, Noah was sure he’d have devoured Eunwoo the moment he saw him.
“No.”
Sighing, Eunwoo crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, in that case, it was a real pleasure, Noah. I hope you don’t have it too hard in the Empire.” His eyes flicked to Noah’s crotch, a sultry smile curving his mouth. “It would be a damn waste, if you ask me. Also”—he produced Noah’s burner phone from somewhere and tossed it over—“I saved my number. If you are ever lonely, call me.”
Noah allowed for a small smile of his own. “I’ll keep it in mind.” He wrapped the red woolen scarf around his neck, checked that he had his keys, and left the hotel room.
Outside, his taxi had already arrived, saving him the trouble of having to stand in the light drizzle of cold rain and snow. He instructed the driver to park in front of the Embassy residences and didn’t waste any time collecting his half-empty suitcase. With all his paintings stored or sold, he had very few things to bring back to Lisbon.
“Where to now, sir?” the driver asked when Noah hopped back into the car.
Noah glanced out of the window, a sense of finality spreading through him as he took in the Embassy’s premises. “The airport, please,” he said and closed his eyes, keeping them shut until they arrived.
Teresa was waiting at the check-in area, excited and bubbly, her mood a contrast so stark to the feeling of despair within Noah. It was nothing new and nothing he couldn’t disguise, though sometimes he wished he didn’t have to exert that kind of effort altogether. He wished he wouldn’t feel this way, that he would simply grow numb to these emotions warring within him, just like he no longer cared much about Teresa’s predatory advances. He hatedthem, that hadn’t changed, but they bothered him less now that he was so used to them.
The last of Noah’s time in Seoul flew by and soon he was boarding the plane, the grand city shrinking in the window as he closed his eyes and succumbed to stress-induced sleep that lasted for the entirety of his journey back home.
Noah felt it, even before the plane landed. It pulled him out of hazy dreams. The tug of home. It was tangible in the air’s quality despite the filtering system onboard the aircraft, in the hint of humidity that couldn’t be escaped no matter what. Unlike Seoul’s six degrees Celsius when they’d left, here in Lisbon, the temperature was in the twenties, making it ideal for a late afternoon run. He didn’t mind going to the gym, but there was something liberating about being outside, about running where nature surrounded you while you sweated under the sun.
It was cleansing, both to the mind and the body. Noah hadn’t been able to do as much of it as he’d have liked in Seoul, so he couldn’t wait to get to it, his hackles rising in anticipation just at the thought of trekking Lisbon’s coastal trails.
“So, Noah,” Teresa said once they disembarked and reached the luggage aisle. “Dear, you are joining me and the girls for dinner, aren’t you? They can’t wait to meet you after so long.”
Noah strode over to where his suitcase appeared on the conveyor belt and picked it up with ease. “I want to rest, if that’s okay. But I’ll happily join you for lunch on Monday” he lied with a slight tilt of his mouth.
She pouted, making her disappointment known. “Oh, well, you do look a little under the weather.” She reached for him and stroked his arm. “I will let the ladies know you were exhausted from the flight and won’t be coming. Do get some good rest over the weekend, dear. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Noah thanked her and let her arrange for a taxi to his place, the same small apartment he’d lived in before his one year in Seoul. Everything he’d left was there, the furniture he’d bought to fill it, the silverware, even the paint on the walls. It was his home, but as he stood in the threshold with his suitcase and took the room in, he couldn’t help the disappointing sensation that flooded him. Thedisquiet.
It felt empty, emptier than it had ever been. It comprised yet another cell within the prison that the Empire was, but now it was no longer a sanctuary where he could paint or have an imaginary demon visit him at night. Reign had manifested here in full for the first time, and since then, that strange feeling of someone’s presence had accompanied Noah, an invisible companion that had followed him everywhere for years.
That was no longer the case ever since Reign’s disappearance in spring and Noah was overly aware of it, the absence of it something he could always feel at the back of his mind no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. So, he gave in, for one last time, to that immense sense of loss. He shut the front door and collapsed to the floor, tears burning his eyes as he fought to contain them.
It was truly over. He was alone. Any flicker of hope he’d held that maybe Reign would be waiting here for him to returndiedwith the first sob, and then all the other things he’d held onto ceased to be with the wails that followed. He was on his own, heartbroken, and full of despairin a place he could barely tolerate, and this time he didn’t have the luxury of cute bartenders and college guys to distract him. He couldn’t make himself numb to the pain through sex; he was stuck living alongside the memories etched into the essence of this very place.
Noah let it all out on a throat-burning howl, scratching at the rough tiles with his fingers until they started hurting.
Two-three years?Fuck that.He was making it out of the Empire in less than a year. He had to, whatever it took, the new reality of his life reinforcing that internal urge so much Noah felt like he was drowning. He needed to leave, to start a new life in a new place where nothing reminded him of Reign and where he didn’t have to hide who he was every day.
Noah winced, glaring at his bruised fingers and then at the blood on the tiles. He pulled out a pair of shorts and a loose tank top from his suitcase, rushing out of the apartment as soon as he had his shoes back on. Ten minutes later, he was nearing the old neighborhoods of Lisbon, determined to make it to the cliffs at the end of the beach and back before darkness took over the clear blue skies he now felt weighing on his shoulders.
37
Most of Monday trickled by slowly, a dull, unremarkable day just like Noah’s weekend. At least until he heard the news that the Cardinal would meet with representatives from Asia over Christmas to put forward a ‘mutually beneficial’ proposal.
The Church moved faster than Noah had thought it would, the blackmail no doubt ready to come into play if a delegation was to be hosted so soon after his return.
And the most intriguing part about the whole thing?
Noah’s presence was also required for the whole duration of the Christmas event, a development which told him that a simple promotion was not the only thing that was going to be on his agenda. During lunch, Teresa had hinted at a meeting in private after the celebratory dinner and Noah had been wondering about it all afternoon, trying to guess what delicate matter the Cardinal wanted to impose upon him this time.
More spying? Hacking? He had gotten better at that, sure, but he was still nowhere near as skilled as some of the specialists employed by the Empire. Or, maybe, the Cardinal was ready to initiate him into the Church’s secrets atlast? Whatever the case, the compensation was bound to be worth it.
Noah squeezed the clipboard with his printed report, took a deep breath, plastered on a fake smile and knocked on Teresa’s half-open door, not waiting for her acknowledgement before popping his head in.
“Hi, I’ve got the—”
His eyes darted from her to the visitors she had. They were two beautiful men he’d never met. One was sitting in her chair and the other one was leaning against the windowsill with crossed arms, while Teresa herself occupied her guest couch.
