Teresa’s frown deepened. “You are right. It just saddens me that the Federation refuses to see how dangerous their so-called freedom is. How… wrong it is.”
“Don’t get disheartened. We’ve made progress already.” Agostino directed their attention to the billboard on the other side of the street where one of the Church’s propaganda ads was currently broadcasting. “It just takes time. People will come around, Teresa. Sooner or later, they will understand the good God is trying to do via the Church.”
“Of course. The Cardinal will make sure of it,” Teresa agreed easily, patting Agostino on the arm and squeezing Noah’s shoulder. “All thanks to our Noah’s help.”
Noah felt nauseous, but that was nothing new as of late, the sensation passing quickly enough. He’d heard enough snippets of conversations in the last months to know that the Empire was planning to expand into Asia very soon. The Embassy was already laying the groundwork, buying officials, meddling in government affairs… Though with what he’d been coerced into doing, Noah feared that this expansion didn’t necessarily seek to happen in a peaceful way.
“—aren’t you, dear?”
Noah blinked at Teresa. “Huh?”
“You must be excited to be going home so soon?” she repeated, throwing one last distasteful frown at the paintings on display before herding both him and Agostino toward the restaurant.
Why was she asking this exact same question again when she’d asked it multiple times already?
“Yes, of course.”
Noah looked over his shoulder at the gallery, his chest tightening as he took in his three works. His eyesinevitably focused on the one depicting Reign’s naked body, indulging in a final moment of appreciation of the demon’s otherworldly beauty. But too soon he had to tear his gaze away. His heart hurt, the pain spreading from it through the rest of him too raw to handle in public if it manifested fully. Too deep and fundamental, stabbing him and cutting him like sharp claws that only knew to mangle, that couldn’t caress gently even if they’d done so before.
On a hard swallow, Noah finally said his goodbye—to Reign and to this year-long dream he had been living. He’d already gotten rid of all the paintings he’d done of Reign, had sold them or locked them in storage months ago because he’d simply been unable to breathe knowing they waited for him in his room. He’d dedicated so much time to them, to Reign, knowingly or otherwise, and it hurt to throw it all away like this, but it was far easier than being reminded of what he’d lost every time he looked at them or even thought about drawing. For a while… he’d stopped doing it altogether, but that hadn’t lasted, his soul craving the canvas like the Earth needed sunlight and rain.
“I’m ready to leave,” Noah whispered to himself and plunged his hands in the pockets of his new long coat, gifted to him by Teresa just like the orchids. “There’s nothing for me here anymore.”
He felt the declaration in his bones. He’d held onto some hope until now, even if he’d not felt Reign’s presence at all since that night, but it was time to let go. To give that tiny speck up. It threatened to rip open all those wounds he still carried, but he didn’t let it, stuffing the sad things down to the depths of his being so that he could focus on what mattered, on that goal that hadn’t changed even when Noah’s inner equilibrium had shattered to pieces.
His freedom from the Empire.
36
Four more hours before Noah had to board the plane to Lisbon.
“Do you have to go already?” Eunwoo pouted his full lips, his eyes following Noah across the room.
The young man was one of Noah’s regular hookups, always willing to oblige whenever he needed to fill the void in his chest. It was like a living thing inside him, consuming him a little more every time he failed to fill it with something. Out of everything he’d tried, sex seemed to work best.
“My plane leaves in about four hours.”
“This kind of sucks, you know.” Eunwoo wiggled his way up the bed until he was sitting with his back leaning against the plush pillows. “We get along so well.” He licked his lips in a seductive invitation.
Noah chuckled, grabbing his briefs from the floor. “I’m sure there are plenty of guys who’d be more than happy to fill my place.”
“I doubt I’ll find anyone even half as good,” Eunwoo whined. He blinked slowly, still looking blissfully fucked out, then scrunched his thin eyebrows and gave Noah ahard look. “You’re really not planning on coming back at all?”
“No.”
With how things had taken a turn for the worse during Noah’s last two weeks, there was no point—he was better off trying to make it over to the American Federation, which the Empire didn’t have its sights on just yet.
“Shame.” Eunwoo hummed in thought. “Maybe you can visit though? I’ll be here so hit me up if you are around.”
Noah doubted he’d be able to visit Seoul, and even if he could, he had better things to spend money on than a vacation. His savings were looking good, and with the promotion he was supposedly getting when he returned to Lisbon, they were going to look even better. He didn’t know how much his salary increase would be, but even if it was generous, he’d likely still need two or three years to save up enough so he could pay his way to America and find someone on the black market to issue his residency documents.
Running a hand through his hair, Noah glanced at the clock above the huge TV. He swung by the bathroom and got dressed, pausing in the hallway once he put his shoes on as Eunwoo appeared at the bedroom door.
“Want me to drop you off?” the gray-haired man offered, hopeful and still as naked as he’d been ten minutes ago.
“No, I have to stop by my place and get my stuff first.”
“Right.” The eagerness drained from Eunwoo’s expression. “And, let me guess, you don’t want a goodbye kiss either, because of your dumb no-kissing rule.”
