Sirens blarefrom down the road, the red and blue lights blinding pedestrians as an ambulance whips around the corner. My heart is racing as another paramedic follows close behind. Three police cars and a fire truck speed by us shortly after, and my pulse begins to race. Leah and I look at one another, worry etched on our faces. What the hell is happening?
My feet start to move, as if I’m being pulled into the direction of the chaos. Leah follows suit, sprinting down the road after me, following the sirens and the commotion just around the corner. My heart is hammering in my chest. When I finally get to the last building on the street, I just about vomit at the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Debris from two cars that collided is scattered across the road. I’m anxiously trying to catch my breath.
A crowd of people gather around the scene, rendering it hard to make out the cars that are crushed into pieces. I close my eyes as tight as possible, hoping, praying it’s not him. When I open them, I’m met with the truth of the devastation.I don’t think, I just move. I shove through the people talking over one another, some snapping photos, others recording on their phones as if nothing horrendous had just taken place. I make it to the front of the line, where officers are blocking off the public from passing through.
That’s when I see him. Austin is on the ground, a few feet from his car, confirmation of my worst possible nightmare that has just come to light. Austin lies unmoving, having been thrown from his vehicle upon impact.
Time slows, and all I can hear is the sound of my blood pounding in my ears. This isn’t real, it can’t be real. “Austin?” I call out, but he doesn’t move. “AUSTIN!” I shout.
“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to stand back.” An officer takes me by the arm, guiding me to where the onlookers stand.
“Let me GO!” I shout, and I become feral, whipping myself out of his grasp. I lash my body, not letting anyone stop me from getting to the man I love. I manage to slip past him and race to Austin’s side. But just as I do, I feel my world shift entirely, and I collapse. My knees hit the pavement, cutting deep into my skin as a sob rips from the deepest parts of my soul. The paramedics continue to work on Austin, placing a neck brace on him and strapping him to a gurney.
It’s as if the world has frozen over, and time itself has come to a stop. They bag him, squeezing the oxygen into his lungs while he lies there unconscious, unable to breathe on his own. The only sound I hear is the sound of Leah’s muffled cries calling my name, trying to bring me back to reality. I look up through my tears to see Kash arguing with the officer, but I have no idea when he got here or what he’s saying.
Why isn’t he moving?
“He’s going to be okay, right?” I ask the paramedics through my sobs. “Right?” I ask again, hoping for some reassurance, but they continue working.
They lift the stretcher, clicking the wheels into place, and roll Aussy over to the ambulance waiting nearby. “Where are you taking him?” My heart feels like it has shattered into a thousand pieces.
This can’t be real.
Tears stream down my face and drip from my chin.
“Halgrove Hill Hospital,” the paramedic tells me, and without another word, they drive away. The blast of the sirens cut through the silence, and I’m left standing there, in the street, watching the rig leave with half of my heart inside.
Leah grabs my hand, lacing her fingers through mine.
Kash quickly steps in and pulls us both into his arms to embrace us, a comfort I didn’t realize I needed at this moment. I lean into him and completely break down.
“Hey, look at me,” he says, taking me by the shoulders to get my full attention. “We don’t know anything yet, okay? We need to get to the hospital and find out his condition before assuming the worst.” I nod, knowing he’s right. Austin will be okay. He has to be okay.
A numbness washes over me,and my eyes become heavy. My heart is aching, and I feel as though the world around me has ceased to exist. A motion of pictures flips through my mind of our childhood. The time Aussy held my hand when I jumped off of Saltback pier when we were eleven, promising that he would always be right by my side through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The time I drank alcohol for the first time and ended up way too intoxicated for a fourteen-year-old, Aussy stayed up with me allnight, holding my hair back while I threw everything back up for hours on end. He also stayed with me the next morning when my mother chewed me out for drinking in the first place.
He was always there. Always supporting me and standing by my side through all of my triumphs and all of my hardships. But now, as I pace a hole in the floor of the Halgrove Hill Hospital waiting room, I’m feeling as defeated as ever that I can’t be there, holding him, loving him when he needs me the most. Kash reaches out and takes my hand, stopping me in my tracks. My eyes meet his, and they swell with tears; the look on his face mirrors exactly how I feel inside, and it breaks me even more.
“Vix, you should sit. We could be here for a while.” Leah’s soft voice fills the room. I nod, folding my arms across my chest, not sure what to do with myself. I sit in a chair between Kash and Leah and rest my head on her shoulder. We watch doctors come in and out of the room, breaking bad news to loved ones and heading back to their jobs like it’s a typical day of the week.
My heart aches a little more every time the door opens, and I realize they aren’t coming to talk to us. The air smells sterile and uncomfortable, as if the walls could talk, they would tell countless stories of the heartbreak and anguish they have seen.
An hour goes by, and the anticipation of what could be happening is too much. I’m about to ask a nurse for an update when a doctor enters the room, and we all jump to our feet.
“I’m looking for the family of Austin Forester,” he says, his voice soft, practiced, as if he’s rehearsed this scene one too many times before. I stand and nod my head, unable to speak in fear of what he will say next.
“My name is Dr. Roberts. I’m the head attending generalsurgeon,” he introduces himself and waits for us to do the same.
“Mavix,” I whisper, and Kash and Leah introduce themselves.
“Why don’t we have a seat?” He gestures to a side room with semi-comfortable chairs away from prying eyes, giving us more privacy.
“Would anyone like a bottle of water?” he asks, and I stare at him blankly and shake my head, hoping he tells us Aussy is okay.
“I’m afraid I have some terrible news,” he starts.
For a moment, it feels as if my heart has stopped beating, and I feel like I’m about to drown in my own tears for the man I’ve loved my entire life.
“The accident Austin was involved in was a head-on collision. He sustained a traumatic head injury upon impact, leaving him unconscious and unresponsive at the scene. He was transported here, where we did everything we could. Unfortunately, Austin did not pull through. We were unable to resuscitate him, despite our best efforts to do so.” He pauses, his face filled with sympathy, and I think I’m about to vomit. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
