I’m watching Vix sleep.Sandwiched between Kash and I on this little double bed, I watch her so at peace while she rests. Neither one of us wanted to leave her side. A new door opened tonight that I don’t think any of us had expected to happen, but strangely, I’m okay with it. I love it, actually. I’ve spent such a large portion of my life scared of losing this woman, afraid of not being everything I can be for her. But now, as we lie here, in my bed, I know without a doubt that we were meant to be exactly here.
“Hey,” I whisper, not wanting to wake her. Kash nods to me in response. “You good?” I ask.
“I should be asking you that question,” a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“Honestly? Never better,” I reply and kiss Vix on the top of the head.
“What’s going to happen now?” Kash questions, a look of worry passing over his brow. “I can’t just go back to everyday pretending I don’t care about her, Aus,” he says, worried that’s what I’ll ask of him. I shake my head, pushing that thought out of my head.
“I would never ask that of you,” I tell him. Kash visibly relaxes. “I’m not the one who decides what happens next.” I think for a moment. “Vix is the only one who can make that decision. Whether it’s one of us or both, I would never ask her to choose. I’m here for her for the long haul. I’ve wanted her my whole life, so if that means sharing her time and her love with someone else that I love, then that’s not going to be a problem for me at all.” I make my point clear. Kash nods, and he looks me in the eye, one of the most serious moments I’ve ever encountered with him.
“Thank you,” he says, and my brow furrows in confusion.
“For what?” I ask. He leans down to kiss Mavix on the cheek.
“For letting me love her too.”
VIX
“So are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Leah’s eyebrows are almost touching her hairline. I can’t blame her. After what she saw at the club, I’d have questions too.
“Lee, usually, I would tell you everything right away because I know if I don’t, you would hound me until I do. But I promise you, after last night, you don’t want the details now that it involves your brother.” I waggle my eyebrows at her, and her jaw all but drops to the floor.
“You didn’t!” she exclaims. “What does Austin think about this?” she asks.
“Well, I’d say he was pretty excited about it. If you know what I mean.” I give her a wink.
“Oh my God, who even are you?” she asks, and I laugh. “Oh, so you and my… brother?” It’s as if she doesn’t believe what I just told her, and that makes me laugh even more.
“Yes, ma’am.” I grin from ear to ear.
“What does this even mean? Are you guys like a throuple now?” And that question stops me in my tracks.
“Truthfully? I don’t even know; we haven’t talked about it. I was hoping we could tonight after dinner since none of us have class,” I tell her. My mind is now spiralling. What does this mean? Everything is happening so fast, from the club last night to the dorm room to waking up beside both of them this morning. We never really talked about what this would mean for our friendships, let alone our relationships.
“Oh fuck me, that means dinner is gonna be hella awkward, isn’t it?” Leah whines.
“Dinner isn’t gonna be any different than usual, Leah,” I reassure her, although I don’t think I’m so sure of myself.
We’re waiting outsideof Booths while Leah asks me question after question, intruding on the private moments we shared last night, but I’m not at all bothered by the questioning. If anything, talking to her about this helps me put things into perspective and figure out where I’d like to go from here.
Austin is the love of my life, my best friend, the other half of me I never want to be without. I’ve known that since I was six years old, and those feelings never faded over the years; they’ve just grown. But with those feelings, I made space in my heart for Kash, the man who makes me laugh, who always knows the absolute wrong thing to say in any situation, but never strays away from being himself. The man who has watched me love someone else while harbouring feelings of his own. Selfishly, I want to give my heart to both of them.
I’d like to explore whether this can work. I want more nights like last night, where I feel free and loved beyondwords, beyond doubts. I want passion, and I want it with them.
The boys will be meeting us any second now. Austin is just finishing up his class, while Kash kept himself occupied, and Leah and I had our afternoon coffee date. My stomach is rolling with butterflies as I think about seeing both of them tonight. My heart starts to beat a little faster, and I can feel my cheeks becoming a little pinker.
“Jesus, they’re not even here yet, and you’re already blushing like a little schoolgirl.” My smile grows.
A loud, smashing sound erupts in the distance.
“What the hell is that?” I ask, looking in the direction it came from.
“Who knows, it could be construction happening over on Third Street,” she says, pulling her phone out to scroll while we wait. I nod my head in agreement, trying to calm my nerves. I don’t usually startle that easily, but something about that sound sent a pain right to my heart.
TWENTY-SEVEN
VIX - PRESENT
