I couldn’t even focus on the argument me and Toni just had before I left the crib, and I couldn’t sit in what I told her or how she looked at me after I said it. I already knew if I let that shit in right now, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself together the way I needed to in this room.
So, I kept my eyes forward and my face blank, and I let the voices around me turn into noise.
My people was here like always. My mama and my pops had been sittin’ behind me every single day, five days a week, showin’ up for me without fail, and I ain’t never took that shit for granted ’cause I knew what it meant to have them in my corner right now. Renza was a few seats down, laid back like he always was but watchin’ everything at the same time, and Kelli was beside him, quiet like usual but locked in the way he always did when shit mattered. Pressure had slid through earlier, dappin’ me up before court started and lettin’ me know he was here, and I respected that more than I ever said out loud ’cause I knew he had Pluto and the kids.
But even with all that around me, I still felt alone in a way I couldn’t explain, like everything was closin’ in but I ain’t have the space to react to it.
The courtroom moved slow all mornin’, and afternoon with lawyers talkin’ and witnesses goin’ back and forth, and I was halfway checked out when somebody from the Lennox side popped off.
“Kay’Lo Mensah a killer!” the voice shouted. “He killed Rioh, he killed Jaqwon, and he killed Echo too! He a disgrace!”
The room shifted instantly, voices risin’ and heads turnin’. Before I even moved, I heard Renza from behind me.
“Bitch, ya mama!” he shot back, loud as hell, and I would’ve laughed if we wasn’t in court.
The judge slammed the gavel and started barkin’ for order while security moved in to calm shit down. People stood up, cops stepped in, and through all that noise I ain’t even react. I just sat there and stared straight ahead, ’cause none of this shit was new to me no more. They been callin’ me everything under the sun for months, and it ain’t hit the same no more.
By the time court wrapped, I stood up with my lawyers and moved toward the elevators with everybody around me, and itwas quiet once we stepped inside. It was where everybody had somethin’ on they mind but wasn’t sayin’ it.
I pulled my phone out without even thinkin’, and when I saw Toni ain’t text me nothin’, that hit me. Every day she sent me pictures of My’Love while I was in court, and that shit kept me locked in with my baby even when I couldn’t be there, but today it was nothin’.
I stared at the screen for a second, then typed quick.
Let me see my baby.
That’s all I said ’cause right then I just needed to see her.
A minute later, the pictures came through, and the second they popped up I let out a real laugh I ain’t even expect. My’Love was sittin’ there in a pink onesie lookin’ so small and so perfect it made everything else fade for a second.
“Look at her,” I muttered, shakin’ my head while I texted Toni back, tellin’ her how cute she looked. Even though shit between us was off, she still sent them pictures anyway.
I slid my phone back in my pocket just as the elevator doors opened, and we stepped out into the hallway. People was movin’ around, watchin’, whisperin’, and before I could even take a few steps, some nigga posted up near the elevator started talkin’ slick.
“That’s him right there… that’s that nigga?—”
“Man shut yo bitch ass up,” I cut in, my voice sharp. Outta instinct I reached for my waist before I even thought about it.
That’s when it hit me that I ain’t have shit on me.
I had got rid of all that after everything that went down, and bein’ in court meant I couldn’t carry anyway, and for a second I felt that lack in a way I wasn’t used to. My hands felt empty at the wrong time.
That ain’t make me no hoe though.
The nigga kept runnin’ his mouth, and before I could step forward, my pops moved. He stepped right in front of him andgrabbed him by his throat, liftin’ him just enough to let him know he wasn’t built for this moment.
“You better get the fuck out our face,” my pops growled, and I stepped in behind him, ready to handle it however it went.
Everything happened fast after that.
A loud pop cut through the hallway, and for a second my brain ain’t even register it until I heard my mama scream.
I jumped back on instinct, Renza and Kelli doin’ the same, and when I looked up, my pops was fallin’.
“Pops!” I shouted as he hit the ground.
The nigga took off runnin’, but he ain’t make it far before security and police tackled him. I ain’t even chase him ’cause all I could see was my father layin’ here.
Blood was spreadin’ fast across his white shirt, soakin’ through like it wasn’t no way to stop it. My mama dropped to her knees beside him, screamin’ his name while tryna hold him together.
