I leaned forward and saw it.
Her umbilical cord had finally come off. It was sittin’ against the front of her diaper, and the look on his face had me tryin’ not to laugh.
He looked like he was about to pass out, and the way he jumped back just a lil’ startled My’Love so bad she let out the longest cry I had heard from her yet.
His whole face changed instantly.
“Aye, aye… it’s okay. Daddy ain’t mean to scare you,” he said quick, scoopin’ her up to his chest without even thinkin’, lettin’ the rest of the diaper fall off her tiny body.
The second she touched him, it was like her whole body recognized where she was supposed to be.
He held her close, rockin’ her slow with his hand cuppin’ the back of her head while her cheek pressed right against his chest. I watched the way she leaned into him without even thinkin’, like she already knew him, and had already made him her safe place.
“I got you… you good… you good,” he murmured low, pressin’ soft kisses to the top of her head while his hand moved up and down her back in that same rhythm he always used with her. And just like that, she started to calm down.
Her cry softened, then broke up into little whimpers. She was just layin’ against him, breathin’ different now, her tiny fingers curlin’ into his shirt while she settled into him like she had been waitin’ on him to fix it.
Kay’Lo had a way with her already. It ain’t matter what was goin’ on, how loud she got or how upset she was, the second he got her in his arms, she folded right into him like that was the only place she needed to be.
Then Kay’Lo paused for a second.
“Damn…”
I looked at him, already knowin’.
“She peed on you, didn’t she?”
He glanced down at his shirt, then back at her, and even with that wet spot spreadin’ across his chest, he ain’t move her, or even adjust her. He just kept holdin’ her right where she was.
“Yeah… she did,” he muttered, but his hand never stopped movin’ over her back.
I shook my head, laughin’. “That’s your life now.”
He smirked, lookin’ down at her like nothin’ else mattered. “I’on give a damn,” he said low. “This my baby.”
After a minute, she calmed completely down, suckin’ on her pacifier while he changed her again, more careful this time while still talkin’ to her like she understood every word.
And I just sat here watchin’ them, realizin’ that this was really my life now too.
And I wouldn’t trade it for nothin’.
One week later…
Another week rolled by and My’Love was two weeks old now, and I still found myself sittin’ back sometimes just lookin’ at her like I couldn’t believe she was really mine.
She had started stayin’ awake a lil’ longer, her eyes openin’ more now instead of just flutterin’ for a second before closin’ again.
Every time she looked up, I got stuck right there in it, starin’ right back at her, tryna take in every detail before it changed again. That hazel color in her eyes had already started showin’ itself more, soft and pretty, and shiftin’ brighter dependin’ on how the light hit it.
Me and Sha’Nelle was in the kitchen while My’Love slept a few feet away in her swing, her little body rockin’ slow while she rested, and the whole house felt calm in a way I was still gettin’ used to. It wasn’t quiet in a lonely way, but was peaceful, like everything had finally settled after so much goin’ on, and for once I wasn’t rushin’ to catch my breath.
Sha’Nelle stood next to me at the sink rinsin’ out bottles while I dried them off and set them aside, both of us movin’ around each other easy like we had already found our rhythm in this new routine.
“You know grandma been askin’ about the baby?” she said, glancin’ at me.
“I sent her pictures,” I replied, keepin’ my focus on what I was doin’.
“I know,” she said, “but she wanna see you for real. She wanna see the baby.”
