“Seduce!”
“Impress, treat, spoil me - whatever you would call it, I require none of it. I am not here to be cossetted, sir, as you well know. You wish me to attend upon your sister. That was the whole reason for… for this.” she gestured vaguely in his direction, then at herself and her pretty silk wedding dress. “There is no need to play-act and flatter each other. It is a waste of time. Take me to Pemberley, sir, so I can begin.”
“No.”
“No?”
Darcy leaned closer, and for the first time Lizzie saw her husband angry. It was a terrifyingly sudden transformation. His face became severe, his voice fell to a low growl, and his eyes were so dark and fierce that she could not look away.
“No, Miss Be… Mrs. Darcy. I shallnottake you to Pemberley. How mercenary you are! If you are so determined to think me selfish, madam, then I shall give you a selfish reason: My sister is unhappy. I shall not help her by bringing another unhappy woman home with me.”
“I’m not…!” she gasped. It was impossible to keep up. How had he leapt so quickly to this terrible conclusion? She had only meant to be practical; he was treating her like Judas himself.
“Are you not? ‘It is a waste of time.’” he echoed back at her with a scoff, “Would you rather have me treat you as a servant, than as my wife?”
She rallied. Elizabeth was not one to back down from a fight without having her say. Her voice was clipped, if defensive “I would not be your wife at all, sir, if we had not made this agreement.”
“You still see this as a trade. I, I suppose, am merely your employer.” Darcy said bitingly.
“I didn’tmeanthat! Why are you so angry? You misunderstand me entirely, sir. I only meant…”
He did not seem to hear her protestations, only the few words which gave fuel to his anger.
“You meant that you have thought no further ahead than satisfying our agreement. You do not know me, nor understand me, and so have painted a most detestable image of me in yourmind. A man who holds debts and can only play-act affection. What did I do to earn such distrust? Did I trap you, madam? Am I forcing your hand?” he glared at her then, choked back another hurtful remark, then stared fiercely out of the window.
Elizabeth sat, frozen and breathless, with her hands clutching the seat so tightly they were surely leaving marks. Her knees were almost touching Mr. Darcy’s, but she felt as if he was a thousand miles away. In a few short minutes, he had transformed from an eager friend shyly offering her a gift, to an angry stranger whom she could barely even look at.
It was so abrupt that she could not bear it. The numbness and the raw nerve that had brought her this far shattered in an instant, and she shuddered. Burying her head in her hands, she sank her fingers into her hair and willed herself not to cry.
Jane’s face emerged from the darkness, smiling and gentle andsafe.Elizabeth drew a deep breath and smoothed her face into an emotionless mask.
Happy or sad, angry or not, I shall not let him vex me.She thought, clenching her hands into fists,He shall never get any closer to my heart than this - not to love me, not to hate me. He means nothing to me, and I mean nothing to him.
I cannot be happy, Jane. I have left you, and our home, and all of the things I cherish. Now, I have only Mr. Darcy - and he scares me. He is so changeable, Jane, and so secretive. I cannot make out his thoughts at all.
I am not myself around him. I cannot trust his kindness, nor understand it. I say such awful things. He was trying to give me a gift, and I hurt him so badly.
Oh, I know I did. I could not prevent it! I thought that we were comrades, and that we were going to help his sister. Why was he offended by that?
Why was he so harsh?
He is a stranger. Even more so than he was on the day that we met.
And I am alone.
Chapter 11
Elizabeth braced herself and smoothed down her dress. Before she could gather her courage, she heard a knock on the adjoining door which she had been about to rap on herself. She could not look up while she cautiously creaked it open, but once it was still, she looked up boldly into her husband’s eyes.
“Can we start again, please?” he asked, with no preamble.
Elizabeth smiled ruefully. “I was about to ask the same thing. I am so very sorry for… for....”
Darcy nodded, not smiling, and nodded towards the door. “Meet me by the gate. We will take a walk.”
They trudged through the muddy streets in awkward silence, both gathering their thoughts. It was too early for the town to be busy, but a few curious early-risers stared at them as they walked past.
“How did you sleep?” Darcy asked abruptly.
