Now, I can’t look away. I’ve become addicted to everything about her, from her strange little shifts, to her kindness and warmth, to her competency and resilience. She never gives up, never quits, and never seems to lose that inner spark.
She’s radiant in her joy, and I want to soak in every single drop.
There’sa strange sense of hesitant camaraderie between us now. We go about our normal morning routines, but the quiet isn’t uptight. It’s more… a comfortable tension. A soft, shimmering thread pulled taut between us.
I’m not sure what to make of it. Raya no longer appears to despise me, if our morning koala situation and ensuing laughing fit is anything to go by, and she’s gifted me a couple easy smiles since then too.
I have a working theory that her smaller smiles are more genuine, compared to the beaming, blinding things she tends to throw out to strangers and coworkers. I’ve seen the quieter ones when she’s talking on the phone, I assume with either family or friends, and they’re stunning.
I want them for myself.
Just like I want everything else about her.
We complete an informal breathing and grounding session together after eating and brushing our teeth, then the two of us head down the elevator and across the street. As my job is mainly behind the scenes, it’s likely to be another boring day for me. I’m looking forward to the meetings with Raya though, if only so I have a reason to stay present and engaged.
Can’t be caught daydreaming like a fool if I want a chance with her.
… since when do I want a chance with her?
Telling my fangs to simmer down, I figure I must be low on blood intake. I refocus on the morning of endless meetings, wondering why it feels like ten years have gone by, yet every time I check my watch it’s only been a few minutes.
Finally, the last meeting before the lunch break starts, which is also the first meeting we’re both attending today. I arrive first, and I nudge the chair next to me with my knee, pulling it out for Raya as soon as I see her walk in. My insides glow when she smiles her thanks, the grin turning softer as she sits down next to me and crosses one graceful leg over the other.
I try my best not to leer, but it’s impossible not to notice her. She’s wearing another of those fitted, textured skirts she seems to like that barely reach her lower thighs. This one is navy blue with brass buttons running from the outside of her left thigh up to her inner left hip. Her usual flowy top is tucked in, and the low neckline has ruffles that tie into a bow right between her breasts. It’s somehow professional while also being sexy and cute at the same time.
Now that I’m in her presence again, my mind keeps replaying the feel of her wrapped around me this morning. An increasingly hard situation to deal with.
Raya keeps glancing at me from the corner of her eye, and I wonder if she knows how wound up I am over her. Never have I been the kind of person who can’t sit still, but apparently she brings out the most juvenile responses in me, barely controlled fangs at the top of that ever-expanding list.
Eager to take her to lunch (hopefully she agrees), I don’t even realize I’m drumming my fingers on the table until she taps my knuckles with her pen. I immediately flatten my hand before balling it into a fist and hiding both hands inmy lap. Raya’s lips tip up the slightest bit at my reaction, and I immediately feel antsy again.
This is ridiculous; how can one person affect me in such a way? I’m not acting remotely like myself anymore.
I practically jump out of my own skin at the feel of her hand on my thigh a few minutes later, stalling the bouncing I must have been doing.
“Stop it, you’re shaking the whole table," she whispers out the side of her mouth, completely oblivious to the effect she’s having on me as she pulls her hand away, leaving sparks of heat in its wake.
I scrub a hand over my face and adjust in my seat. Checking my watch again, I thank whatever deity might be listening that this meeting is nearly over.
“Lunch?” I ask as soon as everyone starts moving and packing up. My voice comes out more gruff than I intended, and I wince at the look on her face.
But then Raya tilts her head; the feline motion is smooth and graceful, something I’ve noticed she does frequently. She blinks, deliberately, I think.
I clear my throat and try again.
“Sorry, I meant, would you like to go grab some food?”
“I certainly planned too.” Her lips are pursed, her best attempt to hide a mischievous grin if the twinkle in her eye is any indication, and it loosens something in my chest.
I roll my eyes as she stands.
“I meant with me.”
“Ah, why didn’t you say so?” Raya is already flouncing her way toward the door before she finishes speaking, and she spins around, walking backward for a couple steps as she scrunches her nose at me playfully. I don’t miss the glimmer of amusement in her gaze as she turns forward again with a cheerful, “Let’s go then!”
My lonely heart shudders to life in my chest.
Raya chatters as we walk toward Little Italy. She also chatters throughout lunch.
