And I don’t ever plan on losing to Max again.
I step closer, so that only a few inches separate us, and lift my chin defiantly. “When did we go from being best friends tothis,Max? Why don’t you start with that. Because I was heartbroken when you moved away, and it seems like you’re heartbroken to be back.”
That does the trick. He jerks away from me and breaks eye contact. His jaw works back and forth, and for a second I think I’ve finally shut him up.
“I am,” he says quietly. “But not in the way you think.”
“Then enlighten me.”
His gaze shifts around the house suspiciously. “How soundproof is your basement?”
He makes a fair point. I’d hope that our parents are too engrossed in their game to eavesdrop on us, but I can’t guarantee it.
“Maybe we should go back outside.”
We walk in silence to the trampoline. He sits down in the middle, but I stay on the far edge so I can jump down as soon as he says something rude. He rubs the heels of his hands over his eyes and sighs deeply.
“You want to know everything, huh? Fine. What do you know about my parents?”
I shake my head. “That they’re separated. And that they played D&D with my parents until you had to move because of your dad’s new job.”
“That was a lie. We moved because my parents were fighting all the time. I guess Dad thought moving closer to his family might help, and he did get a job he really liked there. Once we moved, things got a little better. Mom and Dad both loved the new house, and everything was…stable. Or maybe I just wanted to believe that.” He blows out a breath, still keeping his gaze away from me. “And then, all of a sudden last month, Mom announced she was separating from Dad, and I had to choose who I was going to live with. I had no idea it was coming—it felt like someone had punched me in the throat when she told me. I’ve never seen Dad that angry either. It was horrible.”
I look down at my Lilith Fair concert shirt rather than make eye contact. The weight of his words are heavy enough that I feel like I’m being pressed deeper into this dusty trampoline.
“Once we got here,” he continues, “I finally got up thecourage to ask Mom what happened. Like, how had they gone from being okayish to being separated so quickly? And that’s when she told me that she’d gotten back in touch with your mom, and their conversations were what convinced her to leave.”
I lean back in shock. “I…My mom…What?”
My mind spins at the idea. Granted, I don’t know what was going on with his parents, and Mom does tend to get into everyone’s business, but this seems extreme even for her.
“Ever since, I can’t stop thinking about you and your mom and how happy your family has always been. Just the same as you were years ago with your big Sunday game nights and parents who can drop everything to bring you a lunch or volunteer for the school or bend over backward to make sure you never need a thing. I wish I had a life that was even a fraction like that.” He shakes his head. “I know how close you are to your mom, Hazel. And the idea that she might have mentioned something—that you might have known my parents were separating before I knew—it’s haunted me.” He sucks in a deep breath. “Tell me the truth. Did she say anything at all to you?”
I sit back in shock. Part of me wants to scream at him for all his baseless assumptions about my life and family. But the expression on his face…he looks utterly broken. He had his anger before, and now I can see that was his armor. Without it, there’s nothing left behind but misery.
“Max.” I lean forward and say the next words cautiously. “I didn’t know anything about your parents. I swear it.”
He squeezes his eyes shut and then nods, very slowly.
“My mom and I…we aren’t the way we used to be. And my life is far from perfect.”
“It seems pretty perfect to me,” he whispers, but there’s no heat or accusation to his words now.
“That’s only because you’re looking at my life from the outside.”
He tilts his head up to the sky, and his Adam’s apple bobs. “Maybe I don’t want to be on the outside anymore.”
I stare at him for a second, my heart racing from his confession, then lie back on the trampoline. It’s dirty and hot from baking in the summer sun, but it’s still easier to look up at the clouds than at his expression. After a moment, he follows my lead and lies down next to me.
“I’m not saying I have a bad life,” I say quietly. “I don’t. I have a really good life, I know that, and I’m grateful for it. But my parents—Mom especially—they just have such big hopes for me. And whatever happens, there’s always something more I should be working toward. I’ve never been able to live up to their expectations. So this year is it. It’s my last chance. I need the guard to be the strongest it’s ever been, and I need to win the MVM award.”
“Youneed to ortheyneed you to?”
“I need to…or, I don’t know, maybe it’s both. But if you think Kelsey and I sit around with our parents every night singing songs and telling each other all our secrets and dreams, you’re sorely mistaken. Mostly I spend my time in my bedroom to get away from the pressure.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and wait for him to say something snarky. But he doesn’t. We just lie there in silence and watch the clouds pass by.
“This isn’t going to stop me from competing with you in band,” he says finally.
