“I thought I heard you moving around up here.” Mom slips through the door and sits on the corner of my bed. “How are you feeling? I was getting worried.”
I self-consciously wipe under my eyes and scramble to sit up. Mom’s tilted head and soft voice tell me that she knows exactly the state I’m in.
“Um, you know, tired.”
She tilts her head farther. “You were pretty upset last night. Do you want to tell me what happened now?”
Oh, not much, Mom. Just a nuclear bomb destroying any chance I had of being accepted at my new school. It was a normal Saturday.
“Just some high school drama.”
She purses her lips. “With Crystal? Is that why she didn’t bring you home?”
I play with the blanket to avoid her gaze. “I don’t really want to talk about Crystal.”
“Okay.” She pats my leg. “Whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll blow over soon. A new school year always brings new drama.”
She slips back out the door and I sink lower into the pillows. I can’t eventhinkabout school. How can I go back? I can already imagine it—people playing the video as I walk down the halls or catcalling me like TJ or reenacting the whole scene for laughs. Senior year is already over and it hasn’t even begun.
I don’t have the courage to get back online until the next evening. I skim Instagram, hoping that everyone has moved on, but it’s justas bad as it was yesterday. Maybe worse since total strangers are making fun of me now. But one post from Crystal catches my eye. It’s a selfie of her kissing Andy. My immediate reaction is to stab the photo with something sharp—phone be damned—but then I see the description below the photo.
Who needs to live in England when I can be at Waterford with @andy_baller15?!
I read it a second time.
Does... that mean she’s not going on the trip now? Is it possible for her to drop out so close to the beginning of the school year? If Crystal is staying at Waterford, then I’m going to have to see her every day. Her studying abroad was my one solace yesterday—that she’d be gone for the entire semester. What the hell am I going to do now? Another horrifying thought wallops me—I won’t just be seeing Crystal in the halls. I’ll be seeing herwithAndy, in their stupid giggling, kissing, honeymoon phase of dating. Pure torture. I squeeze my eyes shut.
Except...
My heart jumps in my chest. Wait. That means there’s an open spot on the study abroad trip. The trip I’ve been lusting over ever since Crystal told me about it. Granted, it’s supposed to be for honors students—and I amreallynot an honors student—but maybe there’s still a chance.
A spark of hope lights inside me.
If I can get on this trip, if I can avoid Crystal and Andy and everyone else for a few months, maybe my life won’t be a living hell. I can start fresh. And inEnglandof all places.
I launch off my bed, where I’ve been since the party, and sprintdown the stairs. “Mom!” I hold my phone up to her.
“What’s happening now?”
“I think there might be an opening on that study abroad trip I told you about.”
Her eyes widen in delight. No one is a bigger anglophile than my mom. She practically came out of the womb obsessing about Princess Diana and Jane Austen.
“The one Crystal’s going on? But it must be too late to join. It’s in just a few weeks.”
“I’m not sure. It might be, but if there’s a possibility...”
She nods. “Right. It’s definitely worth looking into.” She picks up her phone, then puts it back down. Her eyebrows knit together. “Ellie, even if I’m able to get you onto the trip...” She heaves a sigh. “It doesn’t give me enough time to save for the expense.”
My shoulders slump. Of course she can’t afford to send me on a trip like this. I was so caught up in the idea that I didn’t think about how much it must cost. “Um...” I consider for a moment. “What if I threw in my savings?”
“Your car savings?”
A wave of nausea hits me, but I nod. I’ve had a savings account since I was twelve, but it’s only been in the last few years that it really started adding up. With my last paycheck from the summer, I should be close to 2K. I’m not sure that will cover the trip, but it’s something. I say as much to Mom.
“Wow. Are you really serious enough about this that you’d give up the possibility of a car? I thought you were dying for your own car.”
“If you let me, I’m all in.”
