“I wrote it a few weeks ago in one sitting. It took me about four hours.”
“Wow.” He arches his eyebrows and smiles. “Well, maybe don’t mention that part. Let’s go.”
I follow him toward the end of the hall. “Hey, how’s your wife and kids? I haven’t seen you in forever,” I say to him.
“She’s now a rich divorcée with too much Botox and my two daughters are lazy, entitled Insta-models, or so they think. How about yours?” I burst out laughing. Eli pauses at the very end of the hallway. “I’m glad you find it so funny.” He’s being sarcastic.
“I’m sorry,” I say, still laughing.
“Don’t be, I wanted to divorce her. I couldn’t stand her. The girls will be fine, eventually, if they ever put their phones down.”
“If it’s any consolation, I’m headed for D-town myself.”
He smiles knowingly. “Oh yeah? Well, my dear, everything is better in dick town,” he says with a wink.
Say what? I meant divorce town.
“Oh?” I say quietly. I’m not sure if he’s saying I’ll be happier single or that he likes being in dick town. I’m so confused. “You’re gay…” I say more like a question than a statement.
He smiles. “Welcome back, Dani darling, you’ve been gone for so long.” He takes my hand gently and pulls me along. “Come on, let’s go get our money from these suits.”
I’m still processing Eli being gay and the fact that I had been so far out of the loop, drowning in my own little sea of drama.
In the boardroom, I’m greeted by four people I’ve never seen in my life. Two men and two women. Despite the moniker, none of them are actually wearing suits. They’re all dressedexpressively. Expressively and expensively. They’re inarguably cool, but I don’t let it fool me. These people are here to represent the money. The moment I walked in the door, I was already in the red, so to speak. I have to convince them I’m worth the investment.
All they are doing is a risk assessment. I have to remind myself they’ve probably already made a decision, and their hipster outsides are just a ruse. These aren’t creatives, they don’t care about the story. They care about the people paying to subscribe to Apple TV and whattheythink of the story. I’ve already forgotten their names. I’m wondering where Gina is. It’s her overall deal with Apple to develop content. She should be here. Eli works for her, she’s going to produce this with me and she and I still haven’t spoken. I met her one time ten years ago at a party, but I doubt she remembers me.
Eli pulls the chair out at the head of the table and gestures for me to sit. “Where’s Gina?” I whisper.
Eli says, “She’ll be here.”
Literally a second later, the door swings open. I recognize her right away. She’s taller and thinner than I remember, short black hair, attractive in a model-esque kind of way, with an overly pronounced masculine jawline.
She walks directly toward me. I stand. “No, no,” she says. “Don’t get up for me. I’m sorry I’m late. It’s good to see you.” She sits next to me and whispers, “I loved our conversation that night, what was that…ten years ago?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“You were going off about how much better the movieWaterworldwould have been if it was made into a musical.”
“Ha! That sounds like something I’d be passionate about while drinking.” Oh my god, I was filleted that night. I can’tbelieve she remembered our conversation. I can’t believeIeven remember talking to her.
She looks to the group of Apple execs plus Eli. “Hi, everyone. We’re so excited about this show!”
Unintentionally, I take a very deep and audible breath. Everyone’s eyes are on me. Eli, seeing the terror on my face, clears his throat and takes the lead. “Everyone at Tin Roof is so unbelievably high on this.” He’s referring to Gina’s company.
“All right, well,” Gina says, “I think we’ve all done our homework. Dani’s résumé speaks for itself and we’ve read the pilot. Eli’s handing out the deck now. You can look that over. I think we can all agree this is just for propriety. You guys know what we’re looking for budget-wise, and Bradley, you mentioned all systems were go? Lawyers have paperwork, et cetera, et cetera.”
Up until this moment, I knew none of this. They’re essentially in development and preproduction already.Is this really happening?
“I guess we let Dani give the obligatory pitch then hit the ground running?” Eli says.
Everyone is nodding.
I had planned an elaborate presentation, but I decide to go with my gut. “This isParenthoodmeetsThe Ice Stormwith a sprinkle ofThirtysomething. Ensemble cast, four couples, seasons of material centered around the premise that eight very different people decide to swap spouses once a week. The group is exclusive and they’ll do anything to protect their secret. In their eyes, they’re not being swingers, that’s sort of below them. Each coupling has a unique relationship, for some it’s sexual, for others just friendship or a common interest. One couple doesn’t even like each other.” Everyone in the room is silent. I get nervous for a second and then recover. “Playing on the fact that oneperson can’t be your everything. Your lover, your best friend, your financial partner, your parenting partner, your confidant, your rock, your buddy, the person who won’t judge you for dipping your toes in. Which friends in your life, other men or women, fill the voids in your marriage…and how?” I pause. They are all just giant, glaring eyes in the room. My anxiety is in overdrive. Am I being too long-winded? “Sooo, that’s the question this show is answering. The second season would take the audience back to the beginning. How the arrangement was formed.”
For a moment I try to read the room.Are these people married? Do they get it? Does it even matter?They’ve read the pilot, they know exactly what the show is about, so I don’t go any further. One exec, whom I assume is the head guy, finally speaks. “We love it. We all really love it, Dani. It’s a yes. Let’s get to work.”
Not only have I never experienced a yes in the room, I’ve never even known someone to get a yes on the table like that. Eli claps his hands together and says, “Okay, then. We’ll get the documents rolling…as long as you’re ready, Dani?”
