“What did you just do with the bucket?”
“Nothing,” he says. I start to get up to look at it. “No, Dani, don’t.”
“What is it?” NowI’mpanicked. “Is it a spider? What is it?”
“No, it’s not a spider, Dani. Just lie down.”
“Tell me,” I demand.
“It’s like a little June bug.”
“Liar! You used that name because it sounds cute. But I know it’s not cute, and now my imagination is going wild. What is under there?”
“It’s a little roach.”
“Why didn’t you step on it if it’s so little?”
I start to get up. “Okay,” he says. “It’s abigroach. I’m going to get it outta here, okay?”
I watch most of the spectacle. Imagine a man trying his damnedest to collect an apocalyptic-sized roach into a dustpan to then re-home it.
“Are you kidding, Alex. Kill it! That thing is gigantic. It’s had a long life. It’s probably at least two thousand years old.”
Deciding not to look, I bury my head in the covers and remind myself that living in the garage is only temporary.
It’s been a minute. I know he’s gotten rid of it. He’s bringing the record player in. He puts on Fleetwood Mac, “Everywhere,” and starts to strip down to his boxers. I’m watching him and laughing inside. He’s tryingsohard to make this situation pleasant. He mouths the lyrics, “I wanna be with you everywhere,”while simultaneously pointing at me.
Once he’s in bed he says, “It’s true, Dani. I want to be with you everywhere. Even a roach-infested garage.”
I perk up. “Infested?”
“No, just one really old guy, and I put him out to pasture.”
“Not funny,” I say.
He laughs then pulls me onto his chest, wrapping his arms around me. I relax. I’m dozing off. Everything is exactly the way it should be. I need to remember to write a note on the Fleetwood Mac album sleeve that Alex couldn’t kill a cockroach…and that I’m starting to think it’s the sexiest thing ever.
3
whisper these words to me
2011
Alexander
We’re in bed. Dani rolls over to face me and has to lift her belly with her hands to shift her body to the other side. Today is her due date. Our first child. Dani is beautiful, glowing, truly gorgeous, but her stomach is so huge, it has to be painful.
“Alex?” she whispers. It’s early and she’s still groggy. She’s wearing just a tank top that only covers half her belly and a pair of tattered floral underwear. It’s adorable. I run my hand over her stomach and feel our baby kick. It’s one of the best and oddest feelings in the world. Dani is all belly. It almost seems like the rest of her body is actually thinner, like the baby is taking everything she’s got. If she didn’t still have such a vibrant energy, I might actually be concerned. The baby moves and turns dramatically, it’s hard not think there is at least a three-year-old in there.
“Yes, my love.”
“I want to ask you something.” Her eyes are still half-closed. She maneuvers to get closer to my ear. I can feel her breath.Now my mind is on other things. I think she’s going to kiss my neck when she very quietly says, “I think we should insulate the attic today.”
My eyes shoot open. “What?”
Taking a deep breath, she sits up. “This house is cold and the insulation sucks. We should go rent one of those machines that shoots insulation into the attic.”
“How do you know about that?”
