My smile disappears. “Alex, always being the joke police.”
Alex takes an audible breath and lets it out, before forcing a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what I said on the plane earlier too. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s fine. Clearly thiswasa dumb flight to choose. I just wanted to get as much done at home as I could. I figured we could sleep a little on the plane.”
“It’s fine. And I’m happy you’re working with Lars. You guys make a phenomenal writing team.” Alex glances to the bartender. “So, younger for you, Dani?”
“Pot, kettle, Alex.”
“She’sthirty,” he says.
“She was a baby when we got married,” I ping back.
“Not a baby, a teenager,” he says. “And she’s not dumb.”
I look behind me jokingly to see who Alex is talking to. “No one said she was?”
“Yeah, but I know exactly how you think.”
I’ve already downed the glass of wine and motioned for the bartender to bring me another. “Oh yeah. Alex the mind reader? I don’t think she’s dumb. I don’t carewhatshe is. What I do know is that Thanksgiving was a little soon for that sort of thing, and I’m sorry, but it’sweirdthat she’s going to be at this wedding. I’m trying to be objective, I’m only thinking about the boys and her son. Believe it or not, I do want you to be happy.”
He huffs and then settles into a slouch. It’s resignation. “I know you do. To be honest, I wish I would have put more thought into the Thanksgiving thing, because that led to this.”
I can’t believe he’s apologizing and admitting it was a bad move. I don’t want to spoil his guilt streak by rubbing it in, he’ll just get defensive. “I don’t know about her kid, but through this whole thing, I know our boys will be fine. Thank god they’re smart…and nice. They understand things that I didn’t understand at their age. Things I didn’t understand until I was forty,” I say with a laugh.
“I know.” He pauses and looks at me thoughtfully. “It’s mind-blowing how much I’ve learned from them. You got exactly what you worked so hard for, Dani…smart and kind kids.”
It’s a nice compliment and it definitely lightens the mood. “That’s not all I want for the boys though. What I really want is for them to know how to love, likereallylove. There’s happiness in it, I think. That’s what I care about. Their happiness.”
“You think love equals happiness?” he says.
“No. I think the act of loving does, the skill, the ability in it—practicing and refining it…you know?”
He nods. “Yeah,” he says in a quiet voice, but I know from his response that he’s still not grasping what I’m saying.
“I want them to know how to love well. It will bring more meaning to their lives,” I say. “I think we did for a long time, Alex. I think we still do, in many ways, it just looks different now.”
He opens his eyes wider. “I know what you mean. You do love them well, Dani. There’s no question about that. They’ve learned from you.”
“You too,” I say, and it’s true.
“Thank you for saying that.” His eyes are clear and pleading like he wants me to know he’s being real. “Dani, sometimes I think we loved each other so much that we hated what we were put through with the same level of energy.”
“Maybe.” I’m starting to choke up. All I have to do is think about the fact that Kate will be at the wedding tomorrow and I snap out of it. “Let’s enjoy each other’s unique silence.”
He nods. A few moments pass. Alex and I know how to be next to each other without talking.
He looks at his phone and begins texting someone. “So, I guess you and Kate are serious, then?” I already know the answer, but I want the satisfaction of hearing him say it…though I doubt he will.
“Thanksgiving was a mistake, I told you that. The wedding invite was a mistake.”
“What are you saying?”
He puts his phone in his back pocket. He seems irritated. “I’m frustrated, Dani. With the situation. She told me she loved me.”
I’m not surprised, but he’s looking at me like I should be. “What did you say?”
“What was I supposed to do?”
