Ling: I’m not an asshole. Stop texting and driving.
Me: I’m doing voice to text so shut up.
Lingwaskind of an asshole. I would never say it to her face; she was a good friend, but not at all willing to put up with Penny’s dramatics. She probably told Penny to get a divorce and get laid. She believed in work and casual relationships... and that’s about it. I think because she was a psychiatrist she tried to avoid shrinking anyone in her real life. Like Ling, I believed in work and casual relationships, too... but when it came to Penny... well, Penny was home for me.
Ling was standing near the door of the Tipsy Hat when I walked in. I spotted Penny near the bar.
“Finally. I need to get out of here.”
“Nice to see you, too, Ling. It’s been a while.”
She gave me a rough hug and said, “I already told her bye, so I’m taking off.”
“Did you tell her I was coming?”
“No. She said she’d be fine getting back to your place.”
I glanced over at Penny. She was wearing a short, black, semibackless dress, leaning over the bar, and talking to Masen.
“That guy is a walking STD. Why is she flirting with him? She doesn’t even seem that drunk.”
“She’s only had three or four drinks, but she hasn’t eaten all day.”
“Nothing at all?”
“No. She got weird about pigging out last night. She went into food-guilt mode. You know her.”
Penny was five-six and probably weighed a hundred and twenty pounds. She was thin already, but now looking at her in a backless dress, braless, it seemed like she had dropped another ten pounds overnight.
“I’m gonna run out and get her a sandwich.”
She huffed. “Fine, I’ll wait.”
Penny still didn’t know I was there, and I wasn’t sure how she was going to react. I got her a turkey sandwich from the deli across the street, which was kitty-corner to my apartment.
When I returned, Ling was still at the door. “So Penny’s been flirting with the bartender?” I asked.
“I don’t know, kinda.”
“I guess that’s all I’m getting out of you.”
“You guessed right. I gotta get some sleep before my flight tomorrow. Good luck,” she said as she walked out. I gave her a salute and finally headed into the bar.
I plopped onto the barstool next to Penny and held the turkey sandwich out to her.
She looked at me, shocked. “Ling, did you shape-shift into Gavin?”
“Eat the sandwich, Penny.”
“Oh, just what I need, another controlling husband.”
“You look gaunt.”
“I assure you, I’m not starving to death.”
“Please eat it.”
I looked up and caught Masen looking down Penny’s cleavage. Glaring, I said, “?’Sup, Masen? How’s the hep C?”
