She turned the music down a little. “Who, Lance?”
“No, the pope. Yes, Lance.”
Dancing away with her back to me, she said, “He asked me to marry him.”
Something exploded in my brain. I held my head, thinking I had just had an aneurysm. I stood up shaking, as if I was no longer in control of my body. As I slowly walked toward her, she stopped dancing. Grabbing her hands, I scanned her ring finger but there was nothing. “You said no?” My voice was not my own.
She was staring up at me, the chocolate pools of her eyes swirling with confusion. We were inches apart. I could have bent and kissed her slightly parted lips.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
I placed my hand flush on her belly and she didn’t flinch. “Have you felt the baby kick yet?” I asked.
“Flutters.” She was still scanning my face with intensity. “What’s going on in that big brain of yours, Gav?” She put her palm to my cheek.
“Don’t touch me like that.”
Shaking her head and pulling her hand back, she said, “Yes, you’re right. Sorry.”
“You said no, right?” I asked again.
She swallowed.
“Tell me you said no.” I grabbed her hand and ran my thumb down her ring finger. “No ring.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t live with my mom, Gavin. My mother can’t support a baby and me. She can barely support herself and Kiki on a secretary’s wage.”
“Get a job then. I can help. My dad can help.”
“I’m not taking handouts.”
“It wouldn’t be a handout. Tell me you said no.”
I pulled her to me as she started to cry. I held her tightly against my body.This is how it feels to have your heart broken.She felt guilty because she knew she was breaking me apart.
“What did you think?” she sniffled. “That you and I... what? You just graduated from college.”
“I have two degrees now. I’ll get a better job than Pete’s garage. Tell me you said no.”
Pulling away with resolve, she wiped the tears from her face. “But I love him.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No! You don’t.”
“Yes, Gavin. He’s going to be the father of my child.”
“That doesn’t mean you love him.”
“I said yes. I said yes. We’re going to get married.”
The crushing ache in my chest was getting stronger. “Why were you waiting to tell me? Why?” My voice was frantic.
She walked over to get her long sweater, insecurity showing in her movements for the first time since I’d met her. “Because I knew you’d have this reaction. Lance is ready to be a husband and a father. He cares so much for me.”
“Yes!” I shouted. “He’s in love with you. I get it! I know how he feels!”
“Oh, don’t come at me with your declarations now. You said I wasn’t your Carissa, remember? I’m probably not even your Lottie or Kimber, either.”
How far would I go to convince her?No, Penny, you’re not my Carissa or Lottie or Kimber. You’re myeverything.
