I pushed past Lance, went inside, and headed to Milo’s room. He was pretending to be asleep in his bed.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Milo. Trust me, it was just stupid adult crap. Your dad and I are fine,” I told him.
“What about Uncle G?” he whispered.
“He’s fine, too.” No one acknowledged the fact that Milo was grieving for Frank as well. We were all too busy being selfish adults.
“What about you?” he asked.
The question lingered in the air as I tidied up and closed the blinds. How could he have empathy at such a young age? I went to his bed and kissed his forehead. “I’m always fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”
He nodded. “I know.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I closed Milo’s bedroom door. I looked at it in the dark hallway.
Gavin: Are you safe?
Me: Yes.
25.Fourteen Years Ago
GAVIN
She was glowing. A visible light radiated from her thin shoulders and flushed her cheeks with color. Pregnant Penny was such a beautiful sight. Indescribable.
We were in her mother’s house, in the basement dance studio. Penny had cranked the heater up and was wearing only a thin pink nightgown as she stretched her leg up on the barre spanning the mirrored wall. I could see everything. Her white panties, her belly, plump with life. She had never been shy around me but she was even less self-conscious now that she was carrying life.
“I’m showing so early. Isn’t it weird that I feel the healthiest I’ve ever felt? And my knee is like bionic now.”
Sitting on the basement steps, I could do nothing but watch her.
“Are you gonna talk or just sit there and stare?”
“Sit here and stare,” I said, blank faced.
“Stop, Gavin.”
“I’m just trippin’ on you being pregnant.”
“Well, I am. Six months and I look nine months, huh?”
I shook my head. “You look great.”
“That’s because I eat now. It’s impossible not to.”
“Good. You’re so much stronger looking.” I liked her with a little meat on her bones. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her lush skin. “You never told me how it went with Lance. Why’d you wait so long to tell him?”
“Don’t know.” She was dancing to “Plainsong” by The Cure.
“I love this song,” I told her.
“I know, that’s why I’m dancing to it,” she said breathlessly as she twirled.
Don’t do that to me. Don’t tease me.She jumped and did a pirouette. “Be careful,” I told her.
She had some grace back but still looked unsure on her feet. It could have been her knee or the pregnancy. I knew she needed to dance, though. She would always need to dance.
“What did he say? Was he mad?”
