He fell into me again and buried his face in my chest. “He’s all I have left. I have no family... nothing.”
“But what about Jenn, and your mom?”
“My mom’s a lost cause. In rehab again. Her stupid boyfriend is paying for it. And I broke up with Jenn. Six months ago.”
“What?” I was shocked. All revelations to me. It had been his longest relationship to date. Three years, and they were about to move in with each other. “Why didn’t you tell me? You tell me everything.”
“I don’t know. I thought you’d be mad. I knew you liked her.”
“Iammad. She was sweet and kind and loving and—”
“She was a soul crusher, P. She was like the joke police. She never laughed at a single one of my jokes.”
“You broke up with your girlfriend of three years becauseshe didn’t laugh at your jokes?”
“Yes, that’s a deal breaker, don’t you think? Move your legs, I want to lie down.”
He put his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair. It was intimate, but we were intimately close friends. He was truly my best friend, and there were a million reasons why he was—more than Kiki, more than Ling, more than my own husband.
“What are you gonna do?”
“Move in with him and take care of him until he goes.” A stray tear ran down his cheek. I wiped it away.
“What about the garage?”
“I’ll hire someone to run it.”
“And your apartment.”
“Really, Penny? I’m pretty much the most untethered person you know. I could move to a mountain in fucking Bangladesh and no one would care. The garage runs itself. My apartment is a shithole. I’m moving here and taking care of my dad. The bonus is that I’ll get to see you more. If there’s a silver lining around this black cloud of doom, then that’s it.”
“I’d care,” I said quietly.
“What?” He squinted.
“If you moved to Bangladesh. I’d care.”
Having Gavin around more wasn’t going to be easy on my family for obvious reasons. I never lied to my husband or cheated on him, but he was jealous of what Gavin and I had. And Milo didn’t understand it either. Selfishly, I was happy Gavin would be down the street from me, but I could already feel the strain it would put on my family.
I rubbed my hand over his forearm and noticed a new tattoo right next to the figure of a dancer and the wordsPretty Girls Make Graves. He never admitted it to me before, but I knew that particular tattoo was one of several he had gotten in reference to our relationship. The new tattoo was of a feather with an arrow through it, and it was still scabbing, like he’d gotten it a day or two ago.
“What’s this about?” I asked as I rubbed my thumb over it.
“Nothing. I don’t know. My dad likes archery.” He closed his eyes. “I just wanted to hurt yesterday. More than I was hurting already.”
“Did it work? Did you hurt more?”
“No. Nothing has ever hurt more.”
“Then why do you keep getting them?” I asked.
“I guess I’m not as much of a quitter as you think.”
“I never thought you were a quitter.”
“You don’t like my tattoos but half of them are about you.” Confrontational Gavin pulled no punches. He spoke the truth.
“You’ve never told me that before.”
