“Julian?”
Everyone is waiting for me to say something. I know they are. But I can’t move. I can’t speak. The walls are suddenly closing in around me, and it’s getting hard to breathe.
“It’s late,” Amelia says. “Lucien is waiting out front to take Mira to her hotel. Freya, I’m sure you want to catch up with your mom.”
I blink, feeling my mom’s gaze on my face.
Quickly, I shake myself out of my stupor as Archer’s hand reluctantly drops away from my shoulder. With a heartbreaking realization, I know in that moment that he knows.
Both of them do.
I never told my mother about them. I never told anyone about them.
Not in six months, and given another six months, I probably never would have.
“Uh, yeah sure,” I stammer. “Maa, I’ll meet you in the car, okay? I need to use the bathroom first.”
“Sure, sweetheart,” she says with a hint of hesitancy.
I give Amelia a quick look that she clearly picks up on, because she guides my mom to the elevator. Once they’re gone, Julian marches to the door and unlocks it. I’m wringing my hands in front of me, the urge to run so intense that I can’t think straight.
“Are you okay, Freya?” Archer asks.
Julian opens the door with a stern expression. He seems as tense and freaked out as I feel, and I know he’s in his head. I stomp into his apartment, keeping my back to him as I run toward the bathroom.
“Freya!” Archer calls, but I hurry to close myself in and start frantically running water down my legs to clean the stains away.
What is wrong with me? What have I become? Tears swell in my eyes as I scratch my skin roughly. I’m a fraud. I lied to my family. I lied to Archer and Julian.
“Freya,” Archer calls on the other side of the door. “Can we talk?”
“No,” I bark.
Quickly wiping my tears, I dry my legs and open the door, brushing past the man standing there. It breaks my heart to see the pained look on his face.
“What the fuck happened?” he asks.
Leaving him behind, I start gathering my things that I’ve left here. All the while, Archer follows me, trying to understand what is happening. Julian is stationed in the middle of the room, arms crossed and with no emotion on his face. His chest is moving at a frantic pace, but other than that, he’s guarding his emotions. To him, it’s easier to hide than face what his fears have prepared him for this entire time.
“Is this all because your mom doesn’t know we’re together?” Archer asks. “It’s fine, baby. There’s no rush in telling them. You can do it when you’re ready.”
For some reason, my fear starts to materialize into anger. Archer and Julian truly act like everything is so easy. But it’s not. None of this is easy.
Frantically, I spin on Archer and point a finger in his direction. “What if I’m never ready? It’s so much easier for you. You have a poly relationship in your family already. Mine may neverunderstand. What if it ruins my relationship with them? I’m not like you, Archer. I can’t go as long without speaking to mine as you do with yours.”
His brows furrow with hurt, and I regret everything that just came out of my mouth, but it’s the truth.
“Is this about being open with your family, or is it about being ashamed of being with two people?” Julian cuts in.
“Julian, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t pretend you do,” I say with a sob caught in my throat.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he fights back.
“Both of you stop!” Archer bellows. “This doesn’t make any fucking sense. Freya is not ashamed of us. Julian, you’re putting up a defense for nothing. Everyone, just calm down.”
I let out a sound of defeat because Archer will see the good no matter what. In everyone but himself of course, but he doesn’t understand. Relationships are easy without conflict, but now…there’s conflict, and Julian will pull the rip cord before getting left behind.
“Neither of you gets it,” I say. “Life doesn’t just magically work out because you want it to. I wasn’t handed everything the way you were. Parents don’t always accept everything. My parents sacrificed a lot for me, and now I have to tell my mother that the only reason I have that restaurant is because I fuck a couple of millionaires!”
