I shook my head. “Perhaps it would be best to retire for the night.”
He nodded and offered me his arm.
I needed to put space between myself and Alec—not only to preserve my reputation, but also my heart.
14
Victoria Station, in the heart of London, bustled with activity as I stepped off the train that had brought us from Dover that morning. A large glass and iron dome above revealed a cloudy sky and droplets of rain as people hurried about on the platform. Women in beautiful traveling gowns, men in top hats and watch chains, businessmen running to catch their evening train, hawkers selling their wares, and porters, all mingled together with customs agents.
“Be mindful not to soil your gown,” Aunt Maude said as she came down the steps behind me, a porter assisting her. “London is nothing but soot and mud. Gallagher will spend most of her days keeping your wardrobe clean.”
I nodded as I absently listened, my gaze connecting with every woman who passed by. Could my mother be among this very crowd? It wasn’t likely, but my chances of passing her on the street were better here than anywhere else.
My gloved hand slipped up to the locket I wore around my neck. For the first time since the night of my debutante ball, I had put it on. Aunt Maude had protested that it didn’tcompliment my green traveling gown, but she didn’t force me to put it away. Perhaps she saw how important it was to me. There was a part of me, perhaps naïve and overly optimistic, that believed if Ididsee my mother, and she recognized the locket, she might recognize me.
Alec exited the train last, holding Aunt Maude’s traveling satchel.
After the SSOregonhad won the speed record, and safely delivered us to our destination, we’d spent a week in Paris, long enough for an extensive wardrobe to be acquired at the House of Worth. Aunt Maude had paid handsomely for the clothing to be rushed. We’d ordered twenty gowns, including the one I would wear to be presented to the queen. Those gowns, combined with the fifty I had brought from America, meant I had dozens and dozens of trunks.
I hadn’t heard Alec or Aunt Maude discuss money again, but I imagined paying for so many new clothes was a strain on their financial situation. Guilt ate away at me, strengthening my resolve to find the best match possible in England. Everything depended on my success in the marriage mart. The last thing I wanted was for Alec and Aunt Maude to suffer.
Between dress fittings in Paris, we’d shopped along the Champs-Élysées near the Arc de Triomphe, attended a performance at the Opéra Garnier, visited the Louvre, promenaded through the Jardin des Tuileries, and toured the Notre-Dame Cathedral. There had been luncheons, a river cruise on the Seine, and a stroll through Montmartre to watch painters and view the construction of the basilica, Sacré-Cœur, which would preside over Paris from its place atop the highest point in the city.
It had just been the three of us, and the only words I knew to describe our magical time in Paris were that it waslike a dream.But, like with all dreams, I had to wake up and face the reality set before me.
“Lady Mandeville is sending a carriage around for us,” Aunt Maude said to Alec. “It should be waiting for us. The porters will see that our luggage is taken to 7 Buckingham Gate. Lady Mandeville has arranged for us to rent the house for our stay here.”
“Buckingham Gate?” Alec asked as we moved away from the train toward the station exit. “That sounds expensive.”
Aunt Maude stopped on the platform and turned to Alec. “I do not want you questioning anything I do here in London. Everything has been meticulously planned for months. Lady Mandeville knows what’s she’s doing and, if all goes as expected, every penny will be worth the investment.”
Over the course of the past six months, I’d gone from feeling like a dirty street urchin, to feeling like a beautiful lady. Now, as the pivotal moment arrived, I felt dirty again. I was a human pawn in a dangerous, high-stakes game, and the more I understood it, the worse I felt. In essence, I was being sold for a title, which Aunt Maude would carry back to New York to lord over Mrs. Astor and Mrs. Garfield.
I held my locket, running my thumb over it as Alec caught my eye. The empathy in his gaze almost undid my resolve—but what choice did I have? I’d agreed to play this game, and now I was here, for better or worse.
After ensuring our trunks and luggage were accounted for, we left the station and found Lady Mandeville’s carriage waiting for us as she’d promised. If I’d thought the station was busy, it was nothing compared to the street. Carriages, hansom cabs, carts, omnibuses, and more traveled over the wet cobblestone streets as pedestrians darted between the vehicles. A mist hung in the air as dark clouds blotted out what was left of the daylight. Everything looked drab and dreary as Alec helped Aunt Maudeinto the carriage. After assisting me, he stepped up, taking a seat on the opposite bench.
“I’ll be anxious for my bed,” Aunt Maude said with a sigh. “And eager to settle in for a few months before traveling again.”
“When do you plan for us to return to New York?” I asked her.
“That all depends on your success. Perhaps you won’t return to New York at all.”
My breath caught at that thought as I looked out the window at the soot-covered buildings. Never return to New York? Of course I knew it was possible, but now it felt real.
“I will return before winter,” she continued. “But let us not worry about that yet. We have much to accomplish.”
I glanced at Alec, and he offered me a half smile, perhaps meant to encourage me, though it was also sad. He had never been agreeable to Aunt Maude’s plans and seemed even less so now.
“I will only be here for a month,” he said to me. “I must return home before the summer season in Newport.”
“You’ll be leaving so soon?” My voice betrayed my disappointment. Though we’d been together almost constantly since the night Mrs. Garfield and Louise had come upon us on the promenade deck, we’d managed to keep our emotional distance from one another. The thought of him leaving all together was too painful to contemplate.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Alec will be here for the first round of social events,” Aunt Maude said, “helping me chaperone you. But after that, hopefully he won’t be needed.”
Alec looked out the window, and I wondered if he felt like a pawn, as well.
