I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, and I simply nodded. Of course he had my forgiveness. He had never set out to hurt any of us.
After he received responses from each of us, he said, “Shall we pray?”
My mother took mine and Ruth’s hands, and she bowed her head.
I caught Ruth’s tear-filled eyes, and I offered her a smile, which she returned.
Our family wasn’t perfect, and there was a lot of healing that would need to happen, but if Father and Mother could extend grace and forgiveness to us, and we to them, then we would find a way to move forward.
As I bowed my head to listen to my father’s words of redemption, I prayed that it would extend to Marcus—because he, more than anyone, needed to understand the healing power of forgiveness.
27
AUGUST 31, 1727
NORTH ATLANTIC
A storm had delayed theOcean Curse’s journey to Massachusetts, but we were just hours from arriving in Boston as I gathered supper from the galley. Misting rain still hovered in the air, and the dark clouds were low in the immense sky as the ship lifted and fell on great waves.
I balanced the dishes, missing Ned’s help, and slowly made my way across the slippery main deck. Thankfully, Hawk saw me coming and met me at the base of the stairs to take a few things out of my hands.
“How much longer until we reach Boston Harbor?” I asked him.
He glanced toward the shoreline, hardly visible in the mist. “Two, three hours at most.”
I followed him up the stairs and into the outer room.
It had been just over a week since Lindbergh’s arrival in Minneapolis and the news broke about our family. The tent revival meetings had been such a success, they’d been extended from three days to five, ending on Saturday night. Father’s messages had been so personal and vulnerable, and they had touched a need withinthe community. Word had spread, and each night, the tent was more packed than the night before.
The busyness had kept all of us preoccupied, which made me grateful. Thomas and Alice had come over for Sunday luncheon, and things had been awkward and uncomfortable at first, but I admired my parents for extending their love to them. Ruth and her children had moved in with her parents, but she and Andrew were trying to reconcile. Again, Father and Mother offered their support to Ruth and agreed to meet with the couple, if they wanted.
But my other life was not the one occupying most of my attention. We were hours away from Boston, and after that I would be on my way to Salem, which was a little over twenty miles to the north, along the coast. There, I would inquire about Rachel’s family—my family—and hopefully I would get some answers.
Hawk and I walked through the outer room and into the captain’s cabin. Timothy had been a guest at each of the meals since Captain Zale learned that his father was Jim Ludlow. It had given Timothy a sense of importance, but I prayed it wouldn’t encourage the young man to continue with this lifestyle.
Captain Zale had been a tyrant since we’d left Charleston, probably on account of Ned leaving, though he’d never admit it. His behavior had become erratic, and his moods had shifted, sometimes from one minute to the next. He kept Dr. Hartville close, but Marcus told me that there was nothing ailing the captain except the fear of illness.
As we entered the cabin now, the captain said to Hawk, “Why are you helping Carl?”
“He needed an extra hand,” Hawk explained as he set the platters of food on the table.
“If you and Marcus hadn’t lost Ned, you wouldn’t have to serve.” Captain Zale’s gaze bored into me. “Though, I wonder if he had some encouragement to leave.”
Marcus was already at the table, watching the captain with wary eyes. Dr. Hartville was there, as were Jack and Timothy. I set plates down in front of each of them, trying not to meet anyone’s gaze.
It was hard not to focus on Marcus. The past eight days had been so bittersweet in his company. The stolen moments, especially at the end of the day, had been the most enjoyable of my life. We talked about our hopes and dreams for the future, always with the knowledge that everything could be taken away in a heartbeat.
Perhaps it was the fact that it could all end in days that made each moment feel so full and satisfying. Being in his arms, enjoying his kisses, and then parting ways to sleep was the hardest of all—yet the sweet possibility of someday helped me endure.
But moments like this, when he was close, the desire to touch him was so strong. I couldn’t help but brush against him as I set his plate on the table, or when I served his ale. It felt like electricity, even if the touch was fleeting.
I stood by and waited while they ate, impatient to take my meal to Marcus’s cabin and have him join me. It would be late when the ship was anchored in Boston Harbor, so we would wait until morning to disembark. As Timothy brought the captain to his father, Marcus promised to take me to Salem.
From there, the rest was a mystery.
Captain Zale’s scowl found me several times throughout the meal, but I always lowered my gaze. Marcus seemed to notice, as he looked from me to the captain whenever it happened.
When they were finally done eating, and the men rose to leave, Captain Zale spoke. “Dr. Hartville, I need you to stay.”
