“Perhaps one day you will.” He hesitated and then said, “Does this have something to do with your medical work?”
I took several long, deep breaths. I was heartbroken that I would not complete my medical schooling in 2001, but it was so much more than that. “Yes,” I finally said. “Somethingdevastating has happened, though there is nothing I can do to change it.”
“I’m very sorry, Maggie. I wish I could make it better for you.” He removed his arm from my waist and took my hand in his.
I offered him my first smile since I woke up and nodded through my heartbreak. “I know you do.”
“Then I will pray for you, because I know nothing is impossible with God.”
His words sounded like Mama and Daddy’s, and it was the second indication he’d given that he was a man of faith. It bolstered me, and my breathing began to settle. “Why have you come?”
Gray’s smile was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. No wonder Mr. Pinkerton had hired him and put him in charge of uncovering Rose Greenhow’s espionage. He was handsome, charming, and intelligent. A perfect combination for an agent.
“I know it’s not customary to pay calls during the day,” he said, “but I didn’t want to wait until evening to see you again. I hope you’re not upset that I’m here.”
“How could I be?” My affection for Gray grew exponentially in that moment, but then I recalled what he had said when he first arrived. “What did you think my father had told me?”
He frowned. “It’s not my place to tell you, but I can’t leave you wondering.” He let out a breath. “Your father was given his orders this morning. He’s been commissioned as a colonel and placed in command of a brigade in Stone’s division, guarding fords along the Potomac River north of Washington.”
I closed my eyes, trying not to give in to despair at the news.
“It is the safest place he can be,” Gray assured me, squeezing my hand and drawing my eyes open again. “We have not seen any action near Washington, and I don’t think the rebels will try to attack the city with all the soldiers we have here. The war will most likely take place on battlefields outside of Washington.”
“Do you truly believe that?”
“I do.” He smiled again, his gaze filling with reassurance. “Every man I know wants to fight for his country, and God calls each of us to different battlefields. I’ve been called to Pinkerton’s agency, Mr. Lincoln has been called to the White House, and your father has been called to military service. Each of us must answer that call, or we will feel we have failed. I know you understand this, since you have been called to the medical field, and you would feel that you have no purpose if you weren’t allowed to heal. It’s the same with your father.”
Gray did understand me—more, perhaps, than I realized.
He set his hand over mine, affection filling his eyes with something that warmed me from the inside out. “I know how desperately he wants to do this. You have to believe in him.” He was offering me his strength for whatever I would face, and I realized I loved him for it, and for so many other reasons. Losing my path in 2001 had shown me that life was precious. What if I lost Gray? Or Papa? Or the purpose God had given me in 1861? Life was too short to hold back, and I didn’t want to any longer. I wanted to throw myself headlong into nursing, into supporting Papa’s dreams—and into loving Gray.
Here, perhaps, was the key to unlocking what my heart wanted.
Yet the same was true for 1941. Yesterday Zechariah had told me he wanted to be an option in my life. His feelings for me were growing, and mine for him. Would it be wrong to court both men at the same time, even if I was the only person who knew? I could try to sort out my feelings for them, but would it be fair to tell them how I felt until I had chosen between them?
“Papa has a good friend in you, and so do I.”
“A friend?” Gray asked, his gaze teasing.
“Aren’t all the best relationships based upon the foundation of friendship?”
“Perhaps,” he said, his voice low as he ran his thumb over the back of my hand, “but I was hoping for something more enduring than friendship.”
“What is more enduring than friendship?” I whispered.
“Love.”
My pulse began to thrum, but my attention shifted when I noticed someone approaching our house. It was Papa.
Gray stood and walked to the fireplace, setting another log onto the flames while I sat on the sofa, trying to collect my emotions.
Papa entered the front door and came into the parlor, smiling in surprise at seeing Gray.
“Good morning, Senator Wakefield.” Gray’s voice sounded a bit strange, making me realize how strongly our conversation had affected him, as well.
“It’s nice to see you here, Mr. Cooper,” Papa said, but then he looked at me and frowned, probably mistaking my puffy face and red eyes for an argument between Gray and me. “Is something wrong, Margaret?”
“No.” I forced myself to smile. “I’m not feeling myself this morning, but Mr. Cooper’s visit has brightened my day considerably.”
