“Then,” Daddy said, “perhaps that’s your answer. You can try to enjoy the experience before December and see why God is calling you there.”
Was it that easy? I had so many decisions facing me, it didn’tseem possible that I could come to a conclusion with such simple logic.
“What about Anna?” I asked, looking from Mama to Daddy.
“She seems happier.” Mama smiled. “I think going to Washington was a good idea. Does she want to go to Hawaii?”
“Very much.”
“Then she should go too.” Daddy leaned back in his chair. “Life is a gift and an adventure. We should never let fear hold us back from doing the things God has called us to do. The risk isn’t always in going, sometimes the risk is in staying and missing out on the journey.”
“Should she know about the attack?”
“No.” Mama shook her head adamantly. “There’s no purpose in weighing her down with the truth before it’s necessary. I know it’s hard for you, Maggie, but it would be even harder for her to keep the information to herself.”
“But what about her grief?” I asked. “Hasn’t she suffered enough?”
“Suffering is not the worst thing in this world,” Daddy said. “We all suffer. Letting your grief hold you back from living is the true travesty. It will be hard for her, but it will be hard for everyone who is there. And overcoming tragedy makes you stronger. Maybe she’ll realize how very strong she truly is.”
“I wish you could help me make my final decision as easily as you helped me make this one.”
“You’ll be in Hawaii over your birthday,” Mama said. “This might be the last time we see you before you make your decision.”
I nodded. “I’ve thought about that.”
She took my hands in hers. “Your father and I understand how difficult this decision is for you, and we want you to know something.”
Daddy left his chair and joined us on the sofa, sitting on my other side.
“No matter what choice you make,” she said, “we will trust that it is the right choice. Don’t feel a moment of guilt over leaving us if that is what you decide.”
Tears stung my eyes at their selflessness.
“We love you,” Daddy said. “And we don’t want to make your decision any more difficult than necessary.”
“I know.” I smiled as I wiped at my cheeks. “You’ve always eased my burdens.”
Mama had tears in her own eyes. “And as much as you want to ease your sister’s pain, you are not her keeper. You cannot base your decision on guilt over leaving her, either.”
“Or anyone else, in any of your paths,” Daddy added. “We know how responsible you feel for your father in 1861, as well.”
“And how responsible you feel for your patients in 2001.” Mama understood me better than anyone else. “It is not your job to fix all the pain in the world, Maggie Hollingsworth. You have been given a special gift, and it carries with it a lot of responsibility, but perhaps God is trying to teach you how to let go and trust Him. Not only with your life, but with the lives of everyone you love. Don’t let anyone else pressure you into choosing a path that isn’t right for you.”
“That seems impossible.”
“It won’t be easy,” Mama acknowledged. “But in the end, it will be necessary. If you choose a path out of obligation or guilt, then you could become bitter. For example, if you chose this path for Anna, and then she goes on to get married, move away, and leave you without a purpose here, you might grow resentful. If you chose 1861 out of obligation to your father, and something happens to him and you’re all alone there, you might feel cheated. Make the choice out of faith, not fear or obligation.”
“We know that goes against your character,” Daddy added. “You’ve lived most of your life caring for others. But there willcome a day when you will need to do what’s best for you and you alone.”
I nodded slowly, knowing that what they were saying was true, though it felt impossible. How could I not take the people I loved into consideration as I made my choice?
“You should get some sleep,” Mama said. “I have a full day planned for us, and your body here needs some rest.”
I gave each of them a kiss and a hug and then returned to my old bedroom.
As I moved through the house, letting my hand trail against the wallpaper, the wainscotting, and up the railing, I wondered if this would be the last time I ever slept in this house.
As promised, Mama had a full day of activities planned for us. While it was in a constant state of improvement, the bulk of Colonial Williamsburg had been either restored or rebuilt by 1941, and it made for a fun day of playing tourist. As a teenager, I had volunteered in several of the buildings and shops, and I enjoyed reconnecting with those who still worked there. Mama especially loved to volunteer. She often helped in the printing shop, dressed in authentic colonial clothing, educating visitors about life in Colonial America. Little did they know she had been the first female public printer in Virginia in 1774.
