“And with that, I have to tell you…” I swallow. This is hard. But honesty, honesty. “I am really fucking hurt that you treated me the way you did. I know you couldn’t tell me anything because of the blood curse, but I often felt like you were working against me. And I don’tunderstandwhy you acted like that.”
There’s a long moment of silence. The hearth pops, sending a tiny coal scattering across the stones. I watch it slowly fade to soot until I sense Anassa’s movement.
She steps closer and then settles onto the floor at my feet. She lowers herself right to my level, and I swear there’s something solemn in her eyes.
Maybe she’s not as difficult to read as I thought.
“I have been alone for a very long time, Meryn,” Anassa tells me.
The words sink into my soul.
Alone.
I remember what the other recruits said when we reached the peak of the Ascent. Anassa had been atop that mountain for years upon years. And when I first saw her, she was separate from the rest of the direwolves.
She had a mate, but that mate was away from her, gone at the front with his rider.
“My mother was the direwolf bonded to Queen Chiara Sturmfrost,” Anassa tells me.
My lips part. Anassa’s mother, bonded to the last true queen of Nocturna. Something tugs in my chest. Something familiar and heavy andcold.
Grief—that deep cut that fades but never truly heals.
My heart opens up to Anassa like a neglected flower getting its first glimpse of sunlight.
“Direwolves have remarkably long lives, as you have learned. We can live up to a thousand years while searching for the right rider. We only choose once, and we tie our lives to our chosen, so we must pick correctly. And I…”She blinks slowly.“I waited centuries for you.”
Forme.
Centuries on her own, waiting for someone she wasn’t even sure would ever come. I used to think Anassa was impatient, but she endured years and years oflongingjust so we could find each other.
“Were any other direwolves waiting?” I ask. “Any wolves your age or older?”
“No.”
My throat tightens. How lonely that must have been.
A cold wave of shame washes over me. I could have known any of this about her if I’d just asked sooner. If I’d been more interested in the history of thedirewolves, if I had made a better effort to get to know the being I’d tied my life to.
It’s hard to leave room for curiosity or questioning when every moment is a battle for survival, but that’s not an excuse.
From now on, I need to do better—not just with Anassa, with everything.
“Stark and Cratos had informed me that you were coming, so I was prepared to bond with you. But after waiting all this time, I found myself attached to a resentful rider.”
Another failure. Stark said something similar. He spent his entire life waiting for the Sturmfrost royal to bond, and he gotme, mess that I am.
“The hurt that caused me, Meryn…”Anassa lays her muzzle on the ground and closes her eyes, exhaling a hot breath in a huff.“My instincts took over. I would have done anything to stop the agony of your resentment and rejection. I needed to keep my distance or I would have ripped out your throat.”
My eyes start to burn, and I reach out, scratching the fur behind her ears. “Thanks for not killing me,” I say softly. “Even though I probably deserved it.”
“We are alike,” Anassa tells me. And I want to argue with her. I don’t know how she could compare her centuries of wisdom to my pathetic flailing. But then she says, “We are both hotheaded and strong-willed, qualities that each of us needs to work on.”
I let my grin take over. “Not always a great combination.”
“It is a powerful combination. But for it to work, yes, we both need to communicate better,” she replies. She brings her head closer to me, leaning into my ear scratches.“I am sorry if my actions caused you pain.”
“I’m sorry, too. I’m lucky to have you. I always have been.”
