His lips thin, and then he nods to a secluded part of the garden. I brush past him, and he follows me there.
When I’m certain we’re out of hearing range of everyone else, I turn on him, my voice a furious whisper. “You’d better be the best fucking father anyone’s ever had for her. You have eleven years to make up for, and she’s really going to need you right now.”
It’s agonizing, leaving her here with him—the father who has been alive and well this whole time, the father whochosenot to come back to us.
The lines on his face deepen. “I know that you and I may never… recover. But I take getting to know my other daughter seriously. I’m going to make sure the time we have counts.”
“You promise me?” I tell him. “Because if I have even the slightest sense that you’ve neglected her while I’m gone, you’ll be dead for real and you’ll wish it was as quick as it would be in battle.”
“I promise, Meryn. She’ll be safe and happy here.”
And even though I know a part of me will always resent him, I believe him in this moment. I don’t give him a hug goodbye. I don’t even say another word. I just nod and turn on my heel.
But then he grabs my wrist. His fingers are trembling slightly.
“Please,” he exhales in a rush. He fights to compose himself. “I know you’re eventually going back to Nocturna, to face him. Please try to make sure Ruby stays safe. To the best of your ability. Please.”
I stare at where he’s gripping me, and he hastily releases me.
“She really matters to you, doesn’t she?” The question aches to be asked.
He winces. It’s oddly reassuring seeing my own discomfort reflected in him.
“Ruby has been the most important person in my life for the past twelve years. What we have… it’s not just the sire bond.” He breaks off and looks away.
He’s staring straight into the past, and it clearly hurts him.
“The love I had for your mother was meaningful to me, and it was real. I hope you believe that. And I don’t mean to say that what we shared paled in any way because of what I have now. But my connection to Ruby is different. It’s written onto my soul. It’s a type of love I didn’t know was even possible until her.”
It’s hard, hearing those words from his mouth. To me, Ruby is still the bloodsucking Siphon who stole my father away from us at a time when we needed him most. It’s nearly impossible for me to imagine her otherwise.
The emotion in his voice is genuine, though. I gaze at my father’s face, seeing for the first time a person separate from me, who loved me and my mother and who made mistakes of his own.
This man and I may never be close again. But for Saela’s sake, I will do what I can for him. I breathe out, and some of my resentment leaves me.
He may have been a bad father. But he doesn’t deserve to suffer because of it.
I catch his eye. “I’ll make sure our forces keep her well guarded.”
When I get back to the direwolves, Saela pushes the Tear necklace into my hand and gives me a sparklingly hopeful look. I slip it on and have to ask, “Still no sire connection?”
She shakes her head. “The blocker Lucien gave me is working.” She fingers the delicate gold chain at her throat, as if to make sure it’s still there.
I’m relieved to hear that even if I can’t be here to protect Saela, at least Killian still can’t reach her.
Saela turns, opens her bag, and produces the book about the Sturmfrost Queens and our mother’s journals for me. And she whispers, “In case you need Mother with you.”
I take the books and almost start to cry, but the moment is interrupted by Lucien, who comes swanning down the stairs.
“I’ve arrived, you’re welcome!”
Looking up, I scowl when I see what he’s wearing.
It’s a high-necked tunic of dark material—black but with hints of colors when it catches the light, like raven’s feathers—and glittery stitching, the shoulders curving upward like blades. The overall look makes his height and lean build even more striking.
It’s probably the least combat-ready piece of clothing I could imagine. The only thing it’s missing are billowy sleeves to get even more in the way.
Elias is better prepared, though his tight leather armor is still made to stave off Astreonan heat. Which is to say it’s got gaps in vital places. Even then, he’s still wearing a deep blue shirt beneath it. With billowy sleeves.
