The only thing keeping me tethered to my body is Anassa. Her disgust at Killian’s words pulses through the bond. “Do not listen,” she growls. And again. “Do. Not. Listen.”
“Killian, I’m not making this up,” I insist, gripping his wrist tightly. “We decided to do this together. We planned it in my room. We talked for hours.”
He shakes his head. “Meryn?—”
“What are you saying?!” I shout, my desperate voice ringing through the cell.
He flinches at the sound of it, glancing back at the guards warily.
There it is again. That embarrassment.
I know that feeling. I felt awful about it, but sometimes I looked at Mother and felt shame.
“I’m saying, Meryn, that we never had this conversation that you’ve imagined.” He kisses me softly on my forehead, and my raw revulsion and fury at the brush of his lips turns my stomach. I can’t tell if it’s coming from Anassa or my desperate need to cling to sanity.
“I’m sorry. I had to detain you here. There are people calling for your head, and imprisoning you was the only way to keep you alive until I can… find a way. For your safety. For the safety of others. You killed the king, after all,” he tells me.
My mouth drops open. My chest feels like it’s being crushed, like the whole massive weight of the castle and all its people above us is pressing into me.
“I know it’s hard to believe, standing in this place,” he says, forced levity lifting his voice up. His smile is weak. “But I still love you. I’d love you through anything. I know what you did in the arena wasn’t you, and I can’t…” He shudders through abreath. “I can’t give up on you. I’ll take care of you, if you’re willing to try to get through this with me.”
Anassa screams in my mind. Her voice rips and tears. “LIAR!”
Killian leans in. His lips meet mine. Warm. Soft. Awful. I don’t want to be kissed. Why would he think I wanted to…?
I push him off weakly, my hand pressed to his chest.
The movement cracks his expression. A tiny sliver of something ancient and cold flashes across his face—a glint of his eyes, a tightening of his jaw—before disappearing again behind concern and affection.
He straightens, radiating gentle love. “Sorry,” he says quietly. “I’ll send someone soon to check on you and bring you something to eat. And I’ll visit again soon. I promise. Call the guards if you need me.”
As I watch in silence, the cell door clangs shut behind him and his guards retreat.
I saw him this time.Reallysaw him. I know I did. I can still conjure the jagged edge of his mask when it broke in two.
It’s pressed up against my throat, threatening to slice open my jugular.
I start to tremble, the betrayal and confusion and shame and pain all catching up to me. “I am not insane,” I whisper aloud because I need the words to be true.
Affirmation ripples over the bond. Anassa’s tail brushes my shins. It’s the first genuine gentleness I’ve felt since Killian arrived.
Turning, I look into her eyes and speak silently, worried my voice will carry over the stone and reach whatever guards he might have posted beyond the cell block. “Did you know? That he was capable of this? You’ve warned me not to share too much with him.”
She stiffens.
“You never gave me a reason. You never give me anything,” I say, curling my hands into fists. Her ears flick backwards in agitation. “You still won’t, will you?”
Anassa just stares at me. It infuriates me, initially, until I realize that her stare is less disdainful and more… patient. I’d never have thought her capable of it, but here we are.
“Talk to me,” I beg, willing to return that patience. Willing to forgive, if only she’ll decide I’m finally,finallyworthy of the truth.
But she only stares.
The spark of anger returns, twice as bright. “You realize this is why I put my trust in him over you? You’re supposed to be my partner! My direwolf. My Bonded. But you can’t even be honest with me. All this time, and you haven’t even told me who your mate is or let me in on your connection with them at all! Don’t you realize how lonely that makes me feel?”
Her eyes light. Her massive body shifts closer to me, and a surge of precise attention comes from her. She stares like I’ve just thrown the key to my cell at her face, like I’m uselessly tossing aside something vital.
I try to backtrack, to understand. And then it hits me like a direwolf at full-sprint, flattening me. I grip the cell wall for support as my eyes dart to the pulsing collar at her neck.
