“Killian?” I hear myself whisper.
“Let me take care of you, now and forever,” he says, the words reaching me slowly and then all at once. “You don’t always have to be the strong one. Let me help you. I—” he clears his throat. “I meant to do this after you’d graduated the Trials, Meryn, but you need to know you aren’t alone in this world. I talked to your mother about this, you know.”
I gasp, tears flooding my eyes anew.
“Youaren’talone,”Anassa growls across the bond.“You have me.”
It’s not the same thing; surely she knows that?
“She gave me her blessing,” Killian continues. “Let me be strong for you, Meryn. Be my wife. Marry me.”
I can’t speak. The air in my lungs grows thin.
Killian produces a bracelet—a band of brilliant gold that catches the firelight, blazing in his hand like living fire. It’s a thousand times more opulent than the simple silver engagement bracelet my mother wore. The band is made of elaborate gold filigree that wraps around dozens of small black diamonds. In the center is an enormous round ruby, red as fresh blood.
My own blood thrums loudly in my ears.
“Be my queen,” Killian implores softly. “Rule at my side and help me reshape our world, Meryn. Together we’ll make the world safer for people like your mother. We’ll get Saela back. We’ll make things right.”
Before I can draw breath to answer, another ripple of disapproval comes from Anassa.
“Meryn,”she hisses.“You are not in the right place to make this decision.”
But I’ve never felt more clear-headed. This incredible man kneeling before me is far more than I deserve. Me, a commoner. Me, who has no other family to speak of.
Me, who had traitorous thoughts of another man when Killian washere, taking care of my mother, helping Igor with preparations. Always steady, always by my side.
I will spend every day of my life trying to make him happy, if he wants me.
“This is not your choice to make,”I tell Anassa firmly.
In this moment, I don’t care about the politics, or the things that will come between us, the things we’ll need to do to right his father’s wrongs.
All I want is him.
“Yes,” I breathe.
“Yes?” Killian’s voice is tremulous, a rare moment of vulnerability from him. My heart squeezes.
“Yes!” I pull him up into me, grabbing his face. My grief and surprise and elation and exhaustion combine into a single pulsing need—for comfort, for Killian’s mouth, for one damn place in this whole world where I can just relax and belong and not feel like a constant failure of a person.
He kisses back with equal desperation, his big hands cupping my face firmly, locking my mouth against his.
“Here,” Killian pulls back and reaches for my hand. “I want to see this bracelet on your wrist.”
The bracelet is hinged, and he opens it, then slips it onto my arm and closes it again. The gold band settles against my skin, almost as if it’s tightening against my wrist. I gently twist my wrist back and forth, admiring the winking way the candlelight catches on the depth of the ruby, the way it glints off of the cavernous black of the diamonds.
I will be Killian’s queen, and nothing has ever felt more right.
Finally, finally, the shadows disappear.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
My worries about my mother’s funeral turn out to be misplaced. Killian handles it all. We argue about it briefly, but he insists on paying for everything.
“You are the future queen, kitten,” he says. “Your mother deserves a proper burial in a place of honor. Andyoudeserve to be able to visit her somewhere beautiful and comforting.”
Which is why he buys her a place in the Garden of Eternal Rest—a lavishly maintained cemetery in the city’s wealthy Northern Quarter, where even the smallest plots cost more than my mother made in a year. It’s looked after by a small sect devoted to the Faceless Goddess, and they’ve brought a priestess here today to bless the ceremony.
