My heart raced uncomfortably imagining that DSS had taken her or… I just shook my head.
“Drew and Sarah and Drew’s family have decided to raise her.”
I nodded. I had gathered as much from Cheryl, but it was still a shock. Or, at least, it was so final now. I had a lot of questions aboutDrew’s future and baseball and my impending career change, but, for now, all I could think of was Daisy. “Poor Daisy,” I said. “Is she okay?”
Tilley shrugged. “How could she be? She’s giving up her baby.” She looked pointedly at Robbie.
When I thought of Daisy, of the future we could have, Maisy was a huge part of that. I imagined raising her too, together. But, then again, she was Drew’s baby. So I wouldn’t be sayinggoodbye, really. But I knew that was the best thing for Maisy. Even though it hurt, I could acknowledge that her being raised by her parents and grandparents was a solid plan.
I wanted to get up and sprint down the street, toward Daisy. But what we had lost was so palpable I didn’t know if she would even forgive me. I needed to play this just right. “So, can we revisit that grand-gesture situation?”
Tilley smiled. “Will you all be at opening night ofHello, Dolly!on Saturday?”
“Obviously,” Robbie said as Parker nodded, and I shrugged. I had planned on it, but everything felt so off now.
“You are coming, Mason,” Parker said. “Quit being so selfish.”
“Fine,” I said, sighing. “I’m coming.”
Tilley grinned widely at me and said, “Perfect. Just what I like to hear.” And I knew she was quoting a line from the show when she said, “In that case, darling, just leave everything to me.”
That made me a little nervous, but, at this point, it wasn’t like I had a plan B. Tilley was a wild card. But, tonight, on the water, eating pecan pie, I decided there was no one I’d rather entrust my heart to.
TILLEYThe Show Must Go On
This is just opening-night jitters, Tilley kept telling herself in the makeshift dressing room that, even though it was just white-painted cinder blocks with someone’s old worn-out couch and a rusty rolling rack of costumes and a zillion-year-old makeup desk, she had been able to convince herself was glamorous. It was one of her greatest strengths, making the mundane feel magical. It was, perhaps, part of what made her such a great actress. But now, she couldn’t act. Not even to herself. Her breath was shallow, and her hands were numb, and if Mason had knocked before he came in, she hadn’t heard him.
She didn’t realize he was there until she felt his big, strong arm around her thin shoulders. “Till?” he whispered. “Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?”
She shook her head. “I can’t go out there, Mason. I just can’t do it.”
When she looked up at him, her eyes were shining with tears.
He smiled supportively and squeezed her hand, which helped a little bit of the feeling come back. “Tilley, it’s normal to have opening-night jitters. You wouldn’t be an actress if you didn’t. But you know as well as I do—better than I do—the show must go on.”
Tilley tried to catch her breath, but it still wasn’t quite as full and deep as she needed it to be. “It isn’t that,” she said. “It isn’t opening-night jitters.” She looked over at the rack of costumes, slightly tired but fitted just so for her. “Mason, I need to get something off my chest, but I’m afraid you might judge me.”
Mason laughed a big, hearty laugh that took Tilley back. It reminded her that he wasn’t that little boy throwing the baseball in the yard. He was a man now. “Tilley, if we made a checks-and-balances sheet of the ways I have screwed up versus my successes, I can tell you which column would be longer.”
She smiled, feeling herself relax just a tick. She ventured a smile. “But you’re so handsome.”
He laughed and squeezed her tight to his side. “Don’t look at me when you say it. It makes it easier.”
“Have I ever told you what I was doing when Robert died?”
Tilley could see Mason shake his head no in the mirror across from them.
“I was onstage,” she said. She sighed deeply. “I was in New York trying out for a play—an off-Broadway play, mind you, but one that would have been the biggest break imaginable for a lot of girls, especially one from Cape Carolina.”
Mason squeezed her again.
“Robert didn’t want me to go to New York,” she continued, feeling her heart clench. “He said that if I went, I would get a taste of stardom and never come back. He was ready to get married, to start a family. And I swore to him that was what I wanted.” She finally looked up at Mason. “But maybe I was lying.”
Mason nodded.
“I got the part. Robert died, and I got the part, and all I could think was that if I had just stayed home, he wouldn’t have died.” Tilley’svoice cracked as she tried to continue. “If I had just stayed home and let him propose to me and gotten married and had children, he would be here, and I would be happy.”
Mason was still for a moment. Then he pulled away from Tilley and turned toward her. “Till, I spent a lot of time thinking after I got hurt about all the things I could have done differently. If I hadn’t gone to the bar that night, if I hadn’t said what I said to Parker about Amelia, if I hadn’t been so drunk… on and on and on. I don’t know if things are meant to be or if they just happen, but I do know that we can’t change them. And I think what we have in common is that we have both spent a lot of years ruminating on what could have been. We let what could have been different steal years and years of our lives.”
