After a series of tests, the attending, a locum tenens doc I didn’t know who was filling in in the ED, pronounced that Sarah had endometritis. As I suspected, he concluded, without so much as asking her, that she had contracted an STI, not that she had recently given birth. Which I guessed maybe I couldn’t blame him for. Seventeen-year-old pretty preacher’s kid presents with endometritis… Recent childbirth is not the place the mind goes and, in his defense, he was the only doctor in a town he didn’t live in, in an ED so packed patients were being treated in the hallways.
That meant Sarah had dodged a bullet. Again. The IV of antibiotics, fluids, and pain meds combined with fever reducers seemed to help right off the bat. I had sent Mason home because I wanted to talk to Sarah alone.
But I couldn’t seem to shake Drew. He was so sweet, standing by her bedside, but I also knew that he had no idea what was actually going on with his girlfriend, and I was confounded by that.She had endured a pregnancy and childbirth without ever letting him know? It made me wonder if he was the father or if perhaps that was what she was trying to hide from him. “Sarah,” Drew said, around nine o’clock, “I don’t want to leave you. I can call my parents, but I’m going to have to tell them where I am. There’s nothing they would let me stay out past ten on a school night for besides a very sick friend.”
“No,” she said adamantly, looking stronger. “I don’t want them to know.”
He kissed her cheek and said, “Are you sure you don’t want me to call your mom? She would want to know you were sick. She would want to come home and take care of you.”
Sarah’s eyes filled, but she said, “Nope. No way. I don’t want them to worry.”
Now that I felt confident she was going to live, I was having all sorts of feelings about this. Drew walked out, and Sarah and I were finally alone.
I took Sarah’s hand. “Sweetheart, forgive me for being presumptuous, but I’m assuming you gave birth behind the school and left your baby in a dumpster?”
She burst into tears, which was all I needed to know. “I didn’t mean to leave her,” she said, sniffling. “I thought I was bleeding to death, and I was scared, and I was going to come right back for her and take her to the hospital, but then, by the time I got cleaned up, she was gone. I truly didn’t know what had happened to her until my mom came home from dinner at the Thaysdens’, going on and on about a baby Coach found in a dumpster.”
I squeezed her hand. “Sarah, this is serious. You were pregnant and gave birth. You needed medical care. You need care for your mental health.”
“But I don’t want to go to jail,” she whispered. “And if I tell anyone, aren’t they going to arrest me?”
“And Drew?” I asked, avoiding her question, my mind connecting some dots.
“Drew doesn’t know.”
“Is it… his baby?”
“Of course it’s his baby!”
I laughed at her incredulity. I guessed being faithful to your high school boyfriend was the moral line, and I had finally crossed it.
“Then, sweetheart, your baby was safe surrendered to the hospital by her father.” I peered at her so she would get the idea. Should this ever come up, that would be her saving grace, and it was almost nearly true. Maisy hadn’t been alone for very long. Even those few minutes broke my heart. But, as much as I wanted to be angry with Sarah for her selfishness, she was sick and young, and likely in total shock.
Her eyes filled with tears, but she nodded. I took her hand. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” I didn’t know if that was true. But it felt like the right thing to say.
“But my mom will kill me if she finds out,” Sarah said. “Like, you don’t even understand. My parents would die…”
“But Jesus is all about forgiveness,” I said, trying to sound light, even though I was serious.
“And my parents are all about perfect daughters. They will not forgive me. Not ever.”
I rubbed my eyes. Saving the patient was always first, but we were here, she was being treated, and, young and healthy as she was, I was pretty sure Sarah would bounce back from this, at least physically. But mentally? I wasn’t so sure. At least, not without the help of parents and friends and teachers orsomeone. I didn’t want to betray her trust. So I wouldn’t tell, right? If I looked way deep down inside, I had to admitthat part of me didn’t want to tell because then what? What if Sarah’s parents or Drew’s wanted to keep Maisy? What if Sarah changed her mind and decided to try her hand at single parenting?
I hadn’t known I was capable of this level of selfishness. Plus, I reasoned, in the best possible scenario, I would be fostering Maisy for a few weeks until she was adopted. Wouldn’t I rather her be back with her family than shuffled off to strangers?
“Where is she?” Sarah whispered.
“Where is who?”
But I knew. Oh, how I knew. Sarah wanted to know where her baby was. I told myself that I was protecting her by not telling her that she was only a floor away from the baby she’d abandoned.
I pulled a chair up to her bedside. “Sarah,” I said, “what do you want?”
The tears again.
“Do you want to be a mother to your little girl? Because if you do, that’s something we need to get out on the table right now.”
She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I mean, she’s mine, and I feel so bad just leaving her…”
