Marco adjusted his glasses, the ones I loved so much. “She used to babysit me,” he admitted. “When Carina started waitressing in high school, Katie babysat me a couple nights a week.”
Hold up,I thought.Katie? A babysitter?
I couldn’t see it.
“And you never thought to mention that?” I asked. “Even as a fun fact?”
Marco shrugged. “I was more saving it for a trivia question.” He smiled a little. “Plus, I can’t exactly give her a ringing endorsement. She never let me eat junk food.”
My hands balled into fists. “Get serious.”
“Only if you get serious. Katie—”
“She’s laughing at me,” I said. “You being Katie’s eyes and ears…” I shook my head. “She’s laughing at me, and even if theydowant to help, so are the other bridesmaids.” I turned away to wipe off some escaped tears.
“I’mnot laughing,” Marco murmured.
“Maybe not,” I said. “But you don’t trust me. You don’t trustme to make my own decisions.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “You’ve made your own decisions with these guys, and they’ve been the right ones!”
“No, I haven’t,” I said, looking him dead in the eye. “Notallof them have been right.”
Marco tried to take my arm, but I dodged him. “Mads, wait!” he called when I started back toward the house.
“Go fuck yourself, Marco!” I called back, and then sobbed myself to sleep that night, knowing he wouldn’t have to.
He had Shelly.
Autumn
Twenty
September was, by far, my favorite month of the year. There was just something about it I especially loved. Maybe it was the fact that the weather was still summery but the air was crisper when I woke up and met Connor to run through the Christmas tree farm every morning. Maybe it was because high school field hockey season somehow felt more relaxed than my club team. Or maybe it was because of my birthday.
I turned eighteen on September 10. My parents surprised me by renting out a private room at an Italian place I loved; when we’d walked in, Connor, Natalie, Davis, a couple of my teammates, and even Samira popped up from behind the table and shouted, “Surprise!”
It had been a great night, even though Austin hadn’t been there. He was battling bronchitis, which we all suspected he’d caught from one of his patients. Katie was, of course, also invited, but she didn’t come. I wasn’t going to lie—it hurt, but I couldn’t say I was heartbroken. We hadn’t spoken much since I ditched everyone at the Finger Lakes last month. “It was really fun!”I’d told Austin when he’d asked about the weekend, and Katie must’ve corroborated my version of the truth.
I shifted my focus entirely to my future and field hockey. I knocked out my Penn application forty-eight hours after college applications went live, and asked Mrs. McCallister—an English tutor—to proof my essays before I hit submit. There, done.
Natalie was convinced the only way for me to get over Marco was a rebound. “I know you guys neveractuallywent out,” she said, “but you fell for him like an elevator.”
“Thank you very much for that image,” I said dryly. “Really, Nat, I won’t think of it at all the next time I use one.”
“Sorry.” She giggled from her spot on my bed. I was in the bathroom, changing into my bridesmaid dress. Dad had stopped by the Gallants’ house to pick it up the other day. “Maybe you don’t need a rebound, per se,” she amended as I slipped on the cranberry-colored velvet gown. “Maybe you just need someone to make out with; I think that might be good for you.”
I made a face. “In what way?”
“Well, first, you should kiss someone else, for practice and peace of mind. It’ll make you forget about that Jacob guy’s saliva dripping all over you.”
She has a point, I thought. Not wanting to kiss Jacob again, I’d made up excuse after excuse to dodge dates until he said he didn’t think things were going to work out between us. I’d been more relieved than upset.
“Connor is still with Lauren,” I reminded her.
“Good,” she replied. “Connorcannotbe your next kiss.”
I zipped up the dress. “Why not?”
