Marco aside, I had never wanted to kiss Connor so much. For my birthday, he’d gotten me a new field hockey stick, one I’d been lusting after formonths. Black with a red handle and white skulls and crossbones all over it. “Lady Death,” he’d nicknamed it.
Natalie snorted. “Because he’sConnor, Mads. Kissing him would mean something.”
I didn’t respond, distracted by myself in the mirror—horrified by reflection. The dress was all wrong. Nana had taken my measurements, and there was no way in hell they translated to this! The gown looked about five sizes too big, its waist not hugging mine whatsoever and with the sleeves falling off my shoulders and the scoop neckline sagging below my chest. I was even wearing my bridesmaid heels, but the fabric still pooled at my feet.Text the chat, I thought.Ask if anyone else’s dress is a disaster…
But the last thing I wanted was for bridezilla Katie to get wind of anything being amiss. Instead, I called Nana, and when she didn’t answer, I called her salon and asked for her. “Hello, darling!” she said. “I’m about to do a cut and color—”
“My bridesmaid dress is a nightmare,” I said, suddenly all choked up.Why did this have to happen?!“I’m swimming in it, Nana. You can full-on see my boobs.”
Nana laughed before assuring me that she’d be home by 6:30 if I wanted to come over that night. (She did some seamstress work on the side.)
Phew, I thought later, after leaving an extremely pinned gown in my grandmother’s capable hands. That was one less thing to worry about, so I started obsessing over Natalie’s suggestion to casually hook up with someone. When I mentioned it to my club teammates, they agreed with her. “A one-time thing can be fun,” our goalie said. “I think you should go for it…”
So that’s how I found myself dancing with Robbie Nielson at Council Rock North’s September semiformal. “You never go to Friday-night dances,” Connor had commented when I offered him a ride. For whatever reason, he and Lauren were driving separately.
“I know,” I’d told him. “But it’s senior year, so I think that should change, don’t you?”
Robbie and I had been chatting over the app for a couple weeks, and we shared several classes, so I didn’t mind his hands moving along my body or when he whispered Dad Jokes in my ear instead of sweet nothings. It was so much better than State Night with Derek at Princeton. I felt safe (partly because I knew I could beat him up if necessary), and I didn’t hesitate when a song ended and he asked if I wanted to get some air. “Sure,” I said, anticipation and excitement rippling down my back.
Five minutes later, he had one hand on my waist and the other tangled in my braid as we frantically kissed under a maple tree. And oh, wow, it was theperfectamount of saliva being exchanged. “You are such a good kisser,” Robbie murmured. “Really good.”
“You are, too,” I murmured, but wondered why we couldn’tslow down a little. We had the whole night; we didn’t need to rush. What was wrong with wanting a slow and steady but spark-filled kiss? Or was that too Swiftian?
At least I’m not thinking of anyone else, I thought, now trying to keep up with Robbie. My hands were on his shoulders, squeezing them tightly.Not thinking of him at all…
Twenty-One
The day before Austin left for his bachelor weekend, he, Katie, and her parents came for dinner. “Please be pleasant,” Dad told me before they arrived. “I know things with Katie…”
Are horseshit?I almost suggested.
“Dad, forget about pleasant,” I said. “I’ll benice.”
Da raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged. “TheStacy Gallant will be here. You know it’s impossible to be anything but nice in front of Stace.”
Because really, Katie’s mother might’ve had hard opinions on food and home décor, but she was also the sweetest.
“Mm-hmm,” my parents said, as if they didn’tquitebelieve me.
I responded with my most dazzling forced grin and did play nice for the first half of the evening—if only because no one really spoke to me. It was the Katie-and-Austin show, and it wasn’t a great episode. “Are you all packed?” Da asked him.
Austin nodded. “I’ve been ready to go for a week!”
Dad and I exchanged a look. Austin, for as long as I couldremember, was a six-hours-before-departure type of packer. The only thing that took him a week wasunpacking.
“He’s alsocheckinga bag,” Katie said with the hint of an eye roll. “He brought a carry-on to Paris, but he needs asuitcasefor a long weekend in Jackson Hole.”
“Kates, I can’t fit a tent in a carry-on,” Austin responded as I thought about the pot calling the kettle black. Katie had brought ten times more stuff to the Finger Lakes! “I also need my waders for fly-fishing.”
“Oh, you’re going fly-fishing?” Mr. Gallant whistled. “Damn…”
“You’re welcome to join, Marc,” my brother said. “The more, the merrier.”
“Dad, no,” Katie said before her dad could even pretend to entertain the idea. “The Devils have their first preseason game on Saturday.” She shook her head. “No.”
Mr. Gallant chuckled. “Relax, I’m only joking, Catherine.” His eyes twinkled. “I was actually going to ask if you wanted to join me at the game?”
