“Okay, what are you thinking about?” I asked when he trailed off, shifting on the porch steps to get more comfortable.
A pause. “How do you know I’m thinking about something?”
“I can hear it in your voice,” I said. “When you’re lost in your head, it sort of drifts away…” I shut my eyes, so I could picture it. “And I know you’re lying there, all stretched out, drumming your fingers on your leg. You’re also staring at something across the room, but notreallylooking at it, and you’re biting your tongue.” Because Luke hadn’t always been paying attention in class or at dinner. Even he could be a space cadet.
“It’s a watercolor Banks did at school,” Luke murmured after a second. “Of a pirate ship, armed with a shit-ton of cannons.”
I laughed. “So what are you thinking about?”
No response.
“What was that?” I joked. “You’re gonna need to speak up.”
And again, silence, but then, “I’m thinking about how I’m in love with you.”
I tripped going up the stairs, totally eating it halfway to Brooks’ third floor. “You okay, Charlie?” Samir Khan asked from the landing. His voice made me flinch. I didn’t know why I thought the house would be deserted, but I did. I hadn’t expected to run into anyone.
“Yes, fine.” I picked myself up off the ground. I hoped it wasn’t obvious my whole body was shaking.Now get out of my way.
The third floor was quiet, and part of me considered making a pit stop in the bathroom so I could throw up. Because I had no idea what to do.Do I just kiss him? Or do I tell him first? And what happens if he’s changed his mind? Will it be different kissing a guy than kissing a girl? Will this change everything?
I stood in front of his door for a long time, probably five minutes. And then I dared myself to knock. “My butler’s out sick!” Luke called from inside. “Open it yourself!”
So I did, and there he was. I felt light-headed. Luke was alone, sitting on his bed with his computer, in a white T-shirt and the pajama pants I’d ordered off Vineyard Vines’ website the day after Thanksgiving. Green with Santa hats. I paid for express shipping so he would get them before coming back to school. Christmas was his favorite holiday.
He looked up from his laptop screen, and we made eye contact. “Hey there.” He shut his computer. “How’s it going?”
“I’m sorry for taking so long!” I blurted.
Luke laughed and got up from his bed. “Yeah, I timed you. Five minutes outside my door. Now listen, the ‘Super Senior’ thing wasn’t my—”
I didn’t let him finish. Instead, I crossed the room and hugged him. Really, really hugged him. Both arms around him andburying my face in his neck. And Luke was very still for a beat before he started hugging me back. I sort of slumped against him. “I’m sorry for taking so long,” I repeated. “But I’m all set now.”
At least I hoped I was.
Luke pulled away to look at me. He cocked his head, pretending to be confused. Because I knew he knew what I meant. His gleaming eyes gave him away. But even so, he said, “Please elaborate.”
“Be with me.” I broke out of our hug so I could take his hand. Mine was shaking so hard, but our fingers somehow threaded together without a second thought, like we’d held hands a hundred times already. It was effortless. “Please. Let’s be together. I’m in love with you. I’ve known we were going to be something since before we even met, when I heard you talking on the phone…” I squeezed his hand. “I’ve been all over the place, but this time, I’m ready.” I paused. “That is, if you still want.”
Luke was quiet for a second—the longest, quietest second ever—but then he smirked. “You’re in love with me, huh?”
I exhaled. “That’s the diagnosis, yes.”
His whole face lit up. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” I smiled.
“Well, I’m in,” he said with a nod. “As long as it’s just me. Because according to my sisters, I’ve never been a good sharer…”
“You won’t need to be,” I told him. “It’ll be you and me and no one else.”
Then neither of us said anything. We just sort of looked at each other.
Luke spoke first. “I’m sick,” he said, suddenly sounding all congested. “So I get it if you—”
“Doesn’t matter.” I shook my head, blood pulsing through my ears. “I have a good immune system.”
“Proceed at your own risk.”
