Luke gave me a look. “Nick Carmichael is who you run off tomeet on Saturday nights.” He shook his head. “It’s not that hard to put together. Whenever he walks into Addison, you automatically fix your hair and try your best not to stare at him every ten seconds, and when you’re not looking at him, he’s looking at you.” He laughed. “And whenever you guysdomake eye contact, you smile and look at the floor.”
Damn you, Luke Morrissey!I thought.Why do you have to be so observant?
I nodded, but reluctantly. “Yeah, but he’s not my boyfriend. Someday, maybe. But not today.”
Luke’s eyebrows furrowed, but my phone pinged again before he could say anything else. This time, it reallywasNina. I swiped to read:Do you think Luke would go to homecoming with me?
Yikes,I thought, and must’ve blanched because Luke sighed.
“That’s Nina getting your opinion on asking me to homecoming, right?”
The look on his face made it impossible for me to hold back: “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Sure.”
I hesitated, unsure what to say. I’d never asked anyone what I was about to ask before. Was there a right or wrong way to say it? “Um…” I grasped at the extra hairband on my wrist. “Are you gay?”
I glanced up to find a bemused smile on Luke’s face. Suddenly, my cheeks were a thousand degrees and probably as red as Taylor Swift’s lipstick.
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, completely frazzled, and desperately wanting a do-over. “You’re not, are you? I’m such an idiot. You really just don’t like Nina. Luke, I’m so—”
“Hey, hey,” he interrupted, laughing. “Calm down.”
“I’m soembarrassed,” I groaned.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed!”
“So if you don’t like her, what type of girls do you like?”
The laughter stopped. “I don’t like girls.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
“You were right,” Luke said. “I think boys are just as cute as you do.”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“Because you’re the first person to ever outright ask me that question.”
I grabbed one of my pillows and hugged it close. “You mean nobody else knows?”
“No, no.” He shook his head. “My mom and my sisters know and some friends…and Charlie’s aunt and uncle do too. I told my mom before she ever asked, but, you know, didn’t get the chance to tell my dad…” He shrugged, a slight sadness in it. “So, yeah.”
“When did you tell your mom?” I leaned forward, fascinated. My uncle Eric was gay, but I didn’t know how or when he came out.
“Three years ago, when I was fifteen,” he said.
“How’d you do it?” I asked, then, “Sorry if I’m prying!”
“No, it’s fine. I actually wrote her a letter…I’ve written her letters ever since I was a little kid. Some were about stupid stuff like asking if we could get ice cream that day, some were to complain about Bec using my bike without asking, but most of them were just to tell her how awesome she is and how much I love her.” He went silent for a moment. “I left it on her desk, and later that night, I found a letter from her in my room.”
I smiled at him. “She sounds like the best.”
He nodded, grinning. “Keiko Morrissey is the cat’s pajamas.” He trailed off. “But, Sage?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s fine that you know. Actually, I’m happy you do…but can you not tell anyone else yet? I just…don’t want them to treat me differently. I’m not ashamed of who I am, but I don’t want it to be this big deal or anything. I’d rather be known as the ‘cross-country PG’ or the ‘PG from Michigan’ than the ‘gay PG.’”
