“I’m sorry,” Headmaster Bickford added when I didn’tvisibly react. “You would’ve been superb; we know your address would’ve been wonderful.” She rose from her chair. “That will be all, Lily. You may leave.”
“Thank you, Headmaster,” I said, then shook hands with the Dean of Students. “Thank you, Dean DeLuca.”
Madame Hoffman echoed me, but my eyebrows knitted together when my mom stayed seated. “Are you coming?” I asked after my advisor fled for French class.
My mom crossed her legs. “No, I’m not,” she said simply. “I’m not finished here.”
I’m not finished here.
The words took a second to compute, but then I noticed that Headmaster Bickford and Dean DeLuca had moved into the adjoining conference room. My insides twisted themselves into a knot, knowing they were now prepping for a Zoom call with the Swells in Chicago.
Tag hadn’t told me what time his hearing was, but of course they would do us back-to-back. Ames would want everything sorted out before lunch.
Unlike Madame Hoffman, Tag’s academic advisor arrived early. “Ah, Leda,” he commented. “I wondered if I’d see you.”
Mr. Rudnick, Tag’s housemaster, sighed and shook his head wearily when he saw my mother, and I did a double take whenJoshwalked into the office. Instead of his usual jeans and assortment ofAMES SWIMMINGapparel, he was wearing a dark suit. Together, he and my mom looked ready to eviscerate the entire boardroom.
It suddenly struck me that perhaps she hadn’t dressed like a shark for my meeting but for someone else’s. “You know his parents are lawyers,” I said.
“Yes, I’m aware,” she said. “Josh and I areadvocates.”
“Because you can never have too many,” Josh added, although I saw him glance glaringly at Tag’s advisor and housemaster. They weren’t going to fight for Tag the way Josh and my mom would; they didn’t love him like Josh and my mom did.
My heart flared with hope. “Lily!” Headmaster Bickford called from the conference room. “Shouldn’t you be getting to your next class?”
I have a free period, I almost said, but my mom nudged me.
“Skedaddle.”
“Don’t let him get kicked out,” I whispered. “Please.”
“I won’t,” she said, then looked me dead in the eye. “I am so fucking furious with him, Lily, but I swear I will change my name and move to Montana before I let them kick Tag out of this school.”
TWENTY-ONE
I’d put my phone on silent before my hearing, but after leaving Headmaster Bickford’s office, I pulled it out of my pocket to find enough texts that made me close my eyes and take a deep breath. Everyone from friends to an acquaintance from my art class last term had messaged to see what the scoop was.I can’t do this, I thought, feeling the heat rise on the back of my neck.Not now, not yet.
Friday was the most popular day for campus tours and prospective interviews, so I could hear chatter from Admissions’ lobby, and the atrium was hustling and bustling around me. Three student tour guides gave me long glances as they passed by, and I gulped when one raised an eyebrow. Zoe and Alex and all my awaiting texts were right; everyone did know.
And knowing Tag, he would bypass this chaos by slipping up the back staircase, but there was no chance I was leaving this building without him.Think, Lily, I told myself.Where can you hide for a while?
I knocked on Mr. Hoffman’s door a minute later; it wasalready half-open, which I took to mean he wasn’t busy. “Come in!” he called, and after looking up from some paperwork, he gave me a gentle smile. His wife had definitely told him about my hearing. “Lily, hello. What can I do for you?”
“Hi,” I said quietly, then swallowed. “Would it be okay if I, um, hung out here for a bit?”
Mr. Hoffman nodded. He was a kind and thoughtful man, always dressing up as Santa Claus for the little kids at our neighborhood holiday party. “Of course,” he said. “I have a staff meeting soon, but you’re welcome to stay”—he stretched to pull a pillow off his armchair—“as long as you’d like.”
“Thank you,” I said, wondering for the millionth time why he’d slept here last night. But I wouldn’t ask that question today. “I really appreciate it.”
“Not a problem,” he replied, and once he’d closed the door behind him, I reached for his box of tissues. The corners of my eyes stung, prickling with pain before hot tears spilled down my face. My mom—I knew how disappointed she was in me. Four years of nothing but hard work andthiswas how I would graduate. She had been so proud when I told her I was Ames’s salutatorian, and now, instead of addressing my classmates at our senior dinner, I would be on the couch at home. Probably with Chinese takeout and marathoning Marvel movies.
Christ.
And Tag, I worried. What was going to happen to him?
When I’d finally wiped away the last of my tears, I unlockedmy phone to face my texts. “Can you just not?” I muttered as I deleted almost every frenzied inquiry, because anyone outside my circle wasn’t getting any immediate answers. Let alone in writing.
Hey, I hope things went okay, Anthony had texted.I’m sorry if my dad was a dick.
