We were both sopping wet, our clothing soaked and dripping. It was way too cold to go outside like that, but all I could think was how the water was the only thing still holding us together.
Never in my life have I had to answer such a difficult question.
Did I love him?
I couldn’t lie…
Of all the people in my life, Taylor was the one who most deserved honesty from me. I forced myself to look him in the eyes, and I responded, “I love you both.”
I could see the disappointment on his face—the grief—and I knew how selfish, how uncaring my response had been.
“That can only mean one thing,” he replied. “You don’t really love either of us.”
He walked past me and out of the shower room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Alone with my remorse. Alone with my sorrow. Sorrow over having lost him, because that’s what his eyes had told me. I’d lost him…and I’d never get him back.
I’d have given anything to save Taylor from that pain, to make those last days as happy as the ones we had shared when we were first going out.
That would weigh on my conscience. But what I regretted most was not letting him know that he would have been the most sensible choice for me. The thing is, there’s nothing sensible when it comes to matters of the heart.
