On my other side, Jack Hart wore MissCrumpets in a baby sling where she was peacefully snoozing as we all held our sparklers up, and the wedding planner—an older woman who ran a ship so tight it almost turned me on—barked at us to keep our arms straight.
“Mommy?” I called after her as she passed us by.
“There’s something frightening about that woman,” Jack said.
“I know.” I nodded as I watched her bully Tall Ron into submission so that he didn’t accidentally block the photographer’s shot. “I like it.”
And then suddenly Bee and Nolan were walking hand in hand down the tunnel made by their loved ones. Their eyes glistened, and as they passed us by, Bee reached out a hand for me, but it was too fast for a hug or a kiss on the cheek.
An unexpected sadness settled in my chest, just holding me down for a moment before it disappeared. I was so happy for Bee, and nothing about her being with Nolan or getting married, or someday even having babies, made me feel distant from her.But I couldn’t ignore this feeling that she’d found something that I might never find.
The moment was gone as Luca called, “Wait for me!” He boarded the trolley behind them, because of course he didn’t trust Nolan to properly undress Bee with his creation intact.
I rechecked the Spark notification on my phone and I did indeed have only one match in all of Christmas Notch. His name was Todd and the only pictures on his profile were of landscapes and a huge Saint Bernard. There were worse red flags, right? Though it did go against the community guidelines not to show your face in your profile.
I’ll be at the Dirty Snowball if you want to meet up.
He wanted to meet in public! How bad could he be? Serial killers didn’t meet in public.
Well, I guess they did sometimes for the whole luring part of the kill. But still, I’d be surrounded by wedding guests and Christmas Notch locals; this was a safe space.
After a quick walk down the street, I reached into my dress to reposition my boobs before walking into the bar tits first.
Okay, landscapes-and-giant-dog man, where are you?
I scanned the room for horny loners on their phones, but it was all wedding guests without shoes and loosened neckties.
Then there was Isaac, sitting by himself at the bar. He wasn’t actually by himself. He was in the outer orbit of Kallum and Winnie and a few others who’d also wound up at the local dive. But he was by himself, because no matter where he was or who he was with, Isaac Kelly was always alone.
God, his sad-boy energy really gave me a lady boner.
And I’d been to the Isaac sad-boy promised land.
With Jack Hart, which had not been ideal. But I couldn’t say no to a sad-boy threesome in the moment. Isaac was so sad! And horny! And okay, Jack was pretty great in bed too. So I did thething. I boned the fuck out of him, and oh my God, did he give it right back.
But then he passed the hell out while Jack and I were cleaning up—separately, because he was still my sworn frenemy. And then it got awkward, and when things get awkward, I get gone.
So this wedding weekend was the first time I’d laid physical eyes on Isaac since that fateful night.
As I was still searching, Isaac peered over his shoulder, like he was hiding, but also scoping, and all I could see were those dark blue eyes gazing over his arm. Then my stomach dropped to the damn floor as he flashed me his phone, showing landscapes and a huge-ass Saint Bernard.
I stormed over to him and said, “Well, well, if it isn’t sad Isaac.”
“I’m notonlysad,” he said defensively.
I took a sip of his umbrella-studded piña colada and held up my phone. “You don’t even own a dog!”
“It’s aspirational,” he said with a shrug as he pulled out the barstool beside him and slid his drink back, taking a sip after me. I watched his Grammy-winning mouth as he put the straw back between his lips. There was a faint sheen of wet on his lower lip that I knew would taste amazing when we kissed. I meantif!Ifwe kissed!
I half-climbed the stool and perched with my feet dangling. Show me a plus-size woman who can sit comfortably on a barstool. I must learn her ways, because there is nothing more unsexy than me trying to fidget my way onto this thing like a toddler.
“You catfished me,” I said.
“I can’t just go on dating apps,” he said. The undone bow tie around his neck along with all that tousled, jaw-length hair made him look like a men’s fashion shoot come to life. “Plus isn’t catfishing when you get a downgrade? I think it’s fair tosay I’m an upgrade from a faceless sunset man with a comically large dog.”
“But it was an uneven match. I have my face and my name on my profile,Todd. You knew it was me. You could have just walked across the reception and asked me out for a drink.”
“You’re here, aren’t you?” he asked as he dragged his thumb around the edge of his glass. His tuxedo jacket hung from the back of his chair and his sleeves were rolled halfway up his forearms, so I could see that vein. The one that curved around his arm and pulsed when he came. That time there was no shirt though.
