Tucker nodded. “Gentiles really know a thing or two about holiday movies.”
Pop scoffed. “Everyone knows the best Christmas movies are made by members of the tribe. After all, didn’t Irving Berlin writeWhite Christmas?”
Mom beamed at him.
“Well, the execs at the Hope Channel were so psyched about how well Nolan’s film went that they asked me to star in one too.”
For a very rare moment, my entire family was silent, and even the smooth R&B song playing in the background seemed to melt away.
And then they burst into sidesplitting laughter.
I could have just waited until the movie came out. Ya know, forgiveness after the fact? But if I did that, Mom might never get over it. Better to warn her of things to come. I learned that lesson after failing to mention the sex tape to her before it was all over the internet.
“Want to hear something even funnier?” I asked. “They’ve got me playing a young Santa.”
Pop’s eyes went wide before he began to laugh even harder. “Put that tummy you got going to good use!”
I gave him a half-hearted grin. Well, fuck. Here goes nothing. “It’s actually part of a new initiative of, uh,scintillatingholiday movies called Hope after Dark.”
Everyone continued on laughing until Tucker tilted his head to the side. “Bro. Like... a Christmas porno?”
Mom was the first to stop laughing, and then Tamara, and then Dad.
“What does this mean?” Mom asked, her voice now full of alarm and suspicion. “Hope After Dark?”
“You didn’t actually say yes to this, did you, Kal?” Tamara asked. “Not after everything that industry has put you through. Everything it’s put all of us through.”
“Of course he didn’t,” Mom said.
I looked at her then, and I could see the disappointment already forming in her soft hazel eyes. Of course I said yes. The moment Steph called me with the offer from Teddy, I was in. It was foolish. I had everything I needed. A thriving business. Family who loved me. But after spending my teen years being every girl’s last choice for a fake boyfriend at slumber parties, seeing T-shirts with my face hitting clearance racks nationwide, and being the only member of INK to not receive an offer for a solo album, there was nothing else for me to say but yes.
Not only had the sex tape made me relevant again, but for the first time,Iwas the hot one. I was the sexy one with the dad bod and the sexual enthusiasm of a tattooed line chef.
And just maybe there was a life for me outside of Slice, Slice, Baby and being the most okay-est uncle ever. (It wasn’t my fault that baby Talia cried every time I made eye contact with her.)
“The contract is signed,” I said. “I leave for LA in two days and then I’ll go to Vermont for three weeks of filming.”
“What about the restaurants?” Dad asked, suddenly concerned for my pizza empire.
“Topher is in charge while I’m gone,” I explained. “And he’s cat-sitting Bread too.”
My sister’s jaw dropped. “You mean to tell me that my twenty-year-old son is in charge of your entire restaurant chain for nearly a month and you didn’t even speak to me about it first?” Tamara asked. “He’s still in school!”
I nodded. “The staff is solid, and Toph can troubleshoot. I’m just a phone call away.”
Mom stood, hoisting Toby up with her. “I’m ready to leave. Tammy, we’ll take the boys home and relieve Talia’s babysitter.”
“But, Ma, you’ll miss the send-off for the bride and the groom. There’re supposed to be sparklers,” I tell her. “Your favorite.”
“I’m not feeling very well,” she said in the same curt tone she used the day she found out I’d agreed to change the spelling of my name from Callum to Kallum for the sake of INK. (You couldn’t spellinkwithout aK, ya know?)
“Good night,” I said with a nod. “I love you.”
My father came around the side of the table and gave me a firm grip on my shoulder. “Night, son.”
Beside me, Tamara shook her head before gulping down the rest of her wine.
Just beyond our table, I watched Payton reach above her head, a laughing grin on her face as she caught Natalie’s bouquet.
