“She knows there’s a catering staff whose job that actually is, right?” Tamara asked.
Tucker shrugged. “What can I say, babe? We’ve got some little entrepreneurs on our hands.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek before whispering, “I think I’d rather them be doctors like their daddy.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little. Tucker’s face was plastered across billboards and bus benches all across the city. He was a urologist and the self-proclaimed “Vasectomy King of Kansas City,” though I personally referred to him as Dr.Dick—something my father found hilarious.
Despite Tucker being a little bit of a tool, he was good to my sister, and after all she’d been through, she deserved it.
“All right, party people,” the DJ said, “it’s time for that bouquet toss.”
This was the perfect time. Mom would be in a good mood from all her favorite romantic wedding traditions and Tamara was just a little bit drunk. Dad was practically asleep. And Tucker... well, I didn’t really care what Tucker thought.
“I have news,” I blurted.
“Us first,” Tamara said.
“What?” I asked. “Is it another baby?”
Tucker snorted and threw back the rest of his Scotch. “God, I hope not.”
In addition to the triplets, Tamara had an older child from when she was seventeen and then her youngest, Talia, who was conceived just a few days before Tucker went under the knife for his own vasectomy. Needless to say, a sixth kid was not part of the plan.
“Is now the best time to talk about this?” Mom asked Tamara.
“The best time for what?” I asked, the panic in my chest tightening. “Ma, are you okay? Is something wrong with you or Pop?”
“No, no, no,” she said, enjoying my concern just a bit.
“They’re fine,” Tamara told me.
“I don’t get what the big deal is,” Tucker said before turning to me. “We’re going on a cruise for Hanukkah this year. There. Now he knows.”
My heart sank. “A cruise?” I asked. “But I get seasick. You guys remember the last time.” Soon after INK split and I moved back home to Kansas City with what money I had managed to save, Cruising with the Stars reached out to me about filling a spot on one of their cruises to the Bahamas after Kelly Clarkson had to drop out at the last minute. I’d get a nice paycheck, and the suite they offered me was big enough for my parents, Tamara, and her oldest kid (and my favorite nephew), Topher, who’d been thirteen at the time. I’d only made it through one performance before getting so violently seasick they had to fly me home from Nassau. But hey, the family got to swim with dolphins.
“We know,” Tamara said diplomatically. “Which is why we wanted to let you know now...”
“So that—what? I could train my nausea-stamina or something? I’m going to be puking my guts out over the railing the whole time.” This didn’t make any sense. Lieberman family Hanukkahs, particularly the first and last nights, were more cherished than any other holiday. Hell, even when I was on tour, I was sure to be home. I even brought Isaac and Nolan back with me on more than one occasion.
Mom gave Tamara a panicked look, and even Dad was awake now.
“Kallum, you’re not going,” Tamara finally says. “I mean, you could if you wanted to, but no one’s going to want to be your nursemaid the whole time.”
“But why Hanukkah?” I asked. “You could all go any other time, but—”
“Mom has always wanted to go on the Cruise of Lights, and well, Tucker and I are taking Mom, Dad, and the whole family for their fortieth anniversary.”
It was hard to argue with that. Mom had ordered catalogs for the Cruise of Lights every year since we were kids. A cruise chock-full of Jewish entertainment, all-kosher dining, and even trivia nights. Even though our family didn’t keep kosher and there wasn’t a shortage of trivia nights on the family social calendar, the cruise was still the woman’s dream come true.
“You never know,” Mom said as Toby fell asleep in her lap, “you just might find a nice girl before then who you’d like to share the holiday with.”
Tamara studied her half-eaten cake. Before she met Tucker, Mom had spent every waking moment looking for a suitable bachelor who would consider courting a single mother. I’d never really been marriage material, and my sister and I butt heads on lots of things, but at least she had my back on that.
“Your turn,” Tamara said, softer than usual. “What’s your big news, little brother?”
“You all know how Nolan did that movie,Duke the Halls, and it really took off?” I asked. “And he even met his girlfriend, Bee?”
“His mother is just so proud of him,” Mom said. “And I watched it twice!”
