I smiled and reached for her hand, but she stuffed both of them into the front pocket of her hoodie.
“What are you doing here?” she asked again, and then fully noticed my getup. “And in your Slice, Slice, Baby uniform?”
“I’m here filming an episode ofShark Tank... It’s a long story.”
She stepped forward to open the door. “Cool. Break a leg.”
I stepped into her path. “Winnie, what did I do?” I said, my voice desperate. “Will you just talk to me? One minute you were in my bed sleeping next to me and now you won’t even return my calls.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her nostrils flaring.
God, she was sexy when she was mad. My heart was mangled and my throat was dry with grief, but that didn’t stop me from wishing I could drag my nose up her throat and along her jawuntil I reached her lips and kissed her for so long that our bodies melted into one.
But talking. Talking first. Professing my love second. And then making out like teenagers in heat.
I pulled the chair out from the little table outside of the storefront, and she sat down.
Once I was pretty sure she wouldn’t make a run for it, I sat down across from her.
I wanted to check the time on my phone and maybe text the PA again, but no. I was here with Winnie and there was no telling if I’d ever get a second shot.
“So talk,” she said.
“I’ve called. I’ve texted. I even tried reaching out to Steph and Teddy. But nothing. Is it because I had to leave so abruptly? You got my text, right? About the location burning down. I’m so, so sorry, but my nephew... I had to get home and check on him and the—”
“You were embarrassed for me,” she said.
“Huh?”
She shrugged. “You were embarrassed for me.”
Her words sounded vaguely familiar, like they were from a movie... or maybe even from our script. “I’m sorry, Winnie, but I’m not really following.”
“That’s what you told Teddy, wasn’t it? About me and the movie and our scenes? Our intimate scenes.”
Teddy. Oh God. The conversation came back to me like an anvil falling from the sky. “Winnie... I was just... It was, like, five in the morning. We’d—we’d been up all night.” Myvoice dropped to a near growl. “I’m pretty sure you remember that part.”
She swallowed as her cheeks flushed. But then she shook her head, like she was physically trying to clear away the memories. “You made me feel silly. AndthenI felt ashamed for all the things I didn’t know. Kallum, do you know how much of my life I’ve spent in shame? I’m sick of it.”
“I... but I love you, Winnie.” The moment the words were out of my mouth I knew it was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time, no matter how true it was.
Her lips parted... but it only took a split second for anguish to furrow her brow. “You’re not hearing me, Kallum.”
“Shame,” I said, forcing my brain to drop the mission I came here with. “I’m listening, I promise. And I might not know fully what it was like to grow up with the constant need to be everyone’s good girl and to be so pure and—but I do know that you’ve fought so hard to come out of it, Winnie. I know you’re so goddamn brave and that you left everything you knew to escape the shame. And what I said to Teddy was dumb and careless. I know how it sounded. It sounded bad, but, Winnie, you have to know that I’d been about to say more, to say how awesome you’d gotten, and you have to know that to me, they were just silly, pointless words.”
“But to me they weren’t,” she said.
Behind her, a parking attendant approached my rental and began to type in my license plate number.
Winnie began to look over her shoulder to see what I was so distracted by, but I needed her to know she was my universe,so I reached across the table and enveloped her hands in mine.
That snapped her head back around, and she watched our hands for a long moment. I didn’t know what she saw there, but I hoped it was a future and all the right words that I couldn’t manage to say. Because when I thought of losing Winnie, my brain turned into endless static.
I took a deep breath. I needed a do-over. Dear God, let this perfect creature give me a do-over.
“I never say the right things,” I finally said. “Ask my whole family. Ask Nolan. Literally anyone. And with you it’s even harder, especially now that we’re back in the real world and all I want is for what we had to be real. I said a stupid thing to Teddy. I—okay, this is embarrassing—but I was sort of starstruck when I saw him. That guy is a porn king, and let’s just say his work was very formative to a young Kallum. So what I should have said was ‘You let me star in a movie with the girl of my dreams and the memory of this experience will be the last thing I think of every night for the rest of my life.’ I would have said that we’re all just lucky to work with Winnie Baker, who is kind and smart and clever and surprisingly filthy. But I said an awful fucking thing, and I will never stop regretting it.”
She looked at me and then back to our hands. Our perfect hands, cradled in front of us like they were meant to grow old together.
