It was a shitty question, but Steph and I had prepared for it.
“It’s interesting you ask that,” I said pleasantly, “because I’ve often wondered if you knew the cost she’d pay when you posted your pictures from that night.”
The response didn’t ruffle him, because he didn’t care that people thought he was pond scum, but I didn’t give him a chance to find a new angle on his leading question. “But truthfully, I had a lot of other things on my mind that night,” I continued. “Because contrary to the rumors that sprung up after, Emily and I hadn’t known each other very well. I won’t deny that I’d wanted to know her better when we met the night of the opening ceremony; it’s why I gave her my phone number and hoped she would use it. And she did—but not for the reason I’d planned.”
I leaned forward a little, like I was preparing to divulge something secret and heavy. It wasn’t really going to be either, but I did need to be careful here, because there were a few parts of the truth that Emily and I had agreed not to speak aloud. And I supposed it did feel a little heavy to tell the truth after so many years of staying silent and hoping it would all go away.
“What most people don’t know is that the night the pictures were taken, Emily was sick. Really sick. She was later diagnosed with food poisoning, but at the time, all we knewwas that she was too sick to move. She called me because she needed help, but she didn’t want to call her coach and none of her teammates picked up the phone.” I didn’t mention that she hadn’t wanted to call her coach because her room hadn’t exactly been a coach-friendly scene, what with the naked Europeans and all. Before the food poisoning had hit, she’d been in the middle of getting her epic Olympic Village sex on. (Sex that I hadn’t been a part of, sadly enough.) “She was so sick that I had to carry her down to the clinic. Which was, of course, seen in the famous picture you posted that night.”
From behind Dominic, I could see Steph nodding her head—I’d gotten through that part without fucking up, at least. Teddy Fletcher had come to stand next to her while I’d been talking and was eating sugared almonds from a paper cone. Steph looked over at him with genuine confusion on her face, like she had no idea how to categorize him in her brain.
“But it’s not just you two in that picture,” Dominic goaded. “You’re forgetting about the naked men too. You really want us to believe that you and Emily had nothing to do with the extra people in her room? That you and Emily hadn’t been together before that moment?”
“The truth is that it’s no one’s business what happened that night,” I said, giving my biggest, dukeliest smile to balance the frankness of my words. “Emily and I—and the two skaters—were adults at the time. If we had spent the night together, if we had spent the night with anyone else there, it would have been our own business and no one else’s. But for the sake of clarity, no, Emily and I were not together that nightor any other night. She called me for help when she got sick, and I went.”
Dominic opened his mouth to interrupt, but I kept going, not giving him a chance to derail me.
“And even though I firmly believe what happened in her room that night isn’t anyone else’s business, I want the world to know what did happen, because they have entirely the wrong idea about Emily. She didn’t get sick because of drinking or drugs, and she wasn’t blowing off the biggest moment of her career. She happened to get very, very sick because of something she ate, she happened to be with two people who weren’t able to help, and I happened to be the one who could. And you know what? If it all went down the same way again, I’d pick up the phone and go help, even knowing what the consequences would be. Some things are more important than a reputation.”
I could see Dominic run his tongue under his teeth, as if deciding what to say next. Which meant I’d given him a good enough answer that he needed to change tactics.
That was a positive thing, but I still braced. I knew this next one was going to be about Mom, and I needed to get it right. I needed the world to understand what my family meant to me while also making it clear that they were not available for gossip consumption.
But Dominic didn’t ask about Mom. He didn’t even ask about Maddie. Instead, he mimicked my posture and leaned forward too, a pen in hand. He looked like a congressperson about to scold me for spilling oil on some baby seals somewhere.
“But what about your fresh-faced costar Bee Hobbes?” heasked. “Even though you’ve only been on set together for a couple of weeks, it seems like you’ve got her thoroughly under your spell. I suppose old habits die hard.”
There was a distant ringing in my ears, and blood prickled my face as alarm slid through my veins, icy and slippery and awful. I hadn’t expected a question about Bee when Duluth was on the table, and since Steph didn’t know anything about Bee’s other job—or the many, um,jobsBee and I had shared over the last week—she hadn’t thought to prep me.
From behind Dominic, I could see that Teddy was frozen right in the middle of eating a sugared almond.
But somehow, despite the panic humming through me, I found that I was answering the question. I was answering with an easy tone and an even easier smile, and hell, maybe I wasn’t such a bad actor after all.
“Bee is an incredible actress for a newcomer, and she’s a wonderful colleague to have,” I said. “But she’s nothing more than a colleague. I’m not in a place right now where I can focus on romance or a relationship. Or even a place where I want to. I’m all about Nolan Shaw for the foreseeable future.”
Teddy’s shoulders slumped in what looked like relief, and he finished putting his sugared almond into his mouth. Steph gave me a thumbs-up.
Relief trickled through my body, blunting the panic somewhat. It was more than my career at stake if Dominic got too interested in Bee. But it did feel weird to deny our... our... whatever we had so directly.
And then between the shoulders of the crew members whowere standing around watching, right behind Tall Ron, I saw a glimpse of dark, glossy hair as the person it belonged to walked away from the tent. I knew that hair; I’d buried my nose in it, tangled my hands in it.
Bee was walking away after my answer, and I couldn’t see her face, or even watch her as she went, because this interview still needed all of my attention.
Was she upset? Or relieved that I hadn’t given us away?
I bet she was relieved. We both needed our thing to stay hidden, right? I’d find her later to make sure, but I knew she’d get it. She’d get why we couldn’t own each other openly, now or anytime immediately in the future.
Eyes a little narrowed, Dominic changed tack once more and veered back to the subject of Duluth, which I deflected and reframed according to Steph’s plan, and then he turned to the subject of my mother. He knew he couldn’t say anything directly insulting and still havemelook like the shithead, so he did the next worst thing, and made it sound like my mom was some damsel in distress I was rescuing.
“And we were all so concerned when we heard about your mother’s suffering. She was in the hospital for her mental illness recently, wasn’t she? Do you want to talk a little about how you’ve managed to take care of her while trying to relaunch your career?”
I folded my hands in my lap, remembering Steph’s coaching about how to look thoughtful and assured. Even though I still wanted to do punch-related violence to this man.
“My mother isn’t a victim,” I said, grateful to hear that my voice came out gracious and not irritated. Steph and I agreedthat I should be passionate about my family—because I was—but that passion couldn’t in any way be interpreted as confrontational or defensive. “So I’m not a fan of the wordsufferor the idea that I take care of her because she can’t take care of herself. I’m not going to speak very much about this, because this is her life and her story to tell, but I want everyone to know that my mother is brilliant, fierce, compassionate, and creative, and the thing I’m proudest of in this world is being her son. And if people want to know more about mental illnesses and bipolar disorders in particular, then there’s plenty of information written by people who’ve experienced these disorders firsthand. In the meantime, I’d like to ask for some empathy and respect—and most of all, privacy. I signed up to be a celebrity and to be in the public eye. My family didn’t.”
And by the time the interview ended, Dominic seemed a little grumpy that he hadn’t found any gaps in my interview armor. He didn’t shake my hand or even make any small talk before he left the tent. Instead, he got up and looked at me.
“You and I should talk again soon,” he said, in a voice that could have been friendly coming from anyone else. “I can’t wait to see what other secrets are buried deep behind those blue eyes.”
