“Because it has been,” she said simply. “I was inspired by one of those expensive alarm clocks that wakes you up slowly.”
I squinted at the glowing screen on the other wall. “What are you even watching?”
A cheery version of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer”piped through the speakers as the wordsA Barista for Christmasin a red curling text unfurled across the screen.
She turned down the blaring volume as the music swelled. “Old Hope Channel movies. It’s pretty much the only channel that works here. Well, that and the Weather Channel, and I already know I can recite the hourly update, including the Santa tracker status. Plus the weather people just say the same jokes over and over again. You can only hear someone named Todd say ‘Baby, it reallyisgoing to be cold outside’ so many times before you start to wonder if the matrix is resetting itself or something.”
“Didn’t the internet cancel that song?” I asked as I sat up on my elbows.
She turned to me, her brown eyes magnified so much that she looked like she had walked right out of an anime. “I don’t know if cancel culture has hit the Weather Channel yet. Trust me. It definitely hasn’t hit Todd.”
She pushed up her magnifying glasses and switched off her headlamp before handing me a not-so-fresh cheese and cherry pastry. “Eat up, buttercup. We’ll get you real food later, but for now it’s continental breakfast leftovers.”
I grumbled as I scooted all the way up and took the flaky Danish from her. It was less offensive up close and personal, and even less so when I bit into it and my stomach grumbled for more. “What are you even doing here?” I asked with a full mouth.
“Well, darling, they needed another makeup person after one of the makeup artists had some sort of cat emergency?”
“Maya? Is her cat okay?”
She shrugged. “Something about a cat in unexpected heat and a future cat dad waiting for his big moment. I don’t know. Kind of sounded like a bad porn premise. A cat sex emergency. So anyway, here I am! Working makeup for my first penetration-free film. My dad is so proud.”
“Aw, Papa Sammy! You could have texted me a heads-up, by the way.”
“Teddy wanted to surprise you,” she said.
“What a sweet little Krampus he is.” And then I gasped, nearly choking on the last of my pastry. “Oh shit, what time is it?” I scrambled out of bed, glancing down to see I’d been haphazardly dressed in whatever dirty laundry had been crumpled in the corner next to the minifridge.
“It’s four o’clock in the afternoon,” she said as she leaned back against my headboard. “You’ve been pretty much out of it since we brought you back to the inn last night.”
“But I’m supposed to be on set... oh my God, does this mean I have to reshoot the horse scene?” My chest tightened and my eyes began to burn at the thought.
“Okay, deep breaths. Good news: you don’t have to reshoot. Bad news—”
“I have to pee.” I rushed to the bathroom and left the door cracked as I groaned with sweet relief the minute my tush hit the porcelain. “What’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is your dear Nolan Shaw is a piece of shit fuckboy.”
I finished in the bathroom and kicked the door open as I washed my hands. “He’s not, though. He really isn’t.” But Ididn’t buy it. I didn’t believe it. Not even from myself. Nolan had promised me he’d be with me every step of the way yesterday. It was such a small, simple promise to keep, and one that was actually his job. And sure, maybe his phone ringing was an accident. But when I really thought about it, Nolan had been tied up and distracted by phone calls since day one.
I walked back out and plopped on the bed—the same bed where I’d done very filthy things with said fuckboy.
Sunny’s jaw fell as she threw her Christmas vulva embroidery to the side and gave me her full attention. “Bee ‘Bianca von Honey’ Hobbes. You fucked the fuckboy.”
“It’s more like”—I grasped for the most artful phrase I could find, but it all came down to—“friends with bennies.”
She gawked at me. “Bee, that makes it even worse! Not only is he a fuckboy, but he’s fuckingyouand abandoning you in your hour of need. He’s basically the reason Whitneigh Houston—great horse name, by the way—startled to begin with.”
“Well, there was a really violent gust of wind and—”
She pulled my hands into her lap, like she was trying to transfer all her concern and sincerity with just the touch of her fingertips, and to be honest, it was working. “You know I’m Team Friends with Bennies. But this could go toxic super quick, and not only would that messyouup, it could very easily mess up this whole opportunity. For you and Teddy. You’ve been doing so good post-Spencer. I don’t want you to end up in that kind of cycle again.”
She was right. Sunny always had a way of being right. I’d almost always been the secret of everyone I’d ever been in a relationship with. Sometimes it was because I was fat. Sometimes itwas because I was a sex worker. And sometimes it was because of both. But being the secret of someone like Nolan Shaw . . . that was on a whole new level.
I threw myself back on the bed, and she maneuvered around so that I could lay my head in her lap.
And then I told her every detail. How Nolan and I had just wanted to get it out of our systems, and then it turned out to not be out of our systems. I told her all about the absolute terror I felt going into my scene yesterday and how Nolan swore up and down that he’d be there for me. But then he was gone, and I was suddenly flying through the air.
Even though we’d known each other for only a week and in just over a week’s time he’d go his way and I’d go mine, I couldn’t ignore how deeply hurt I felt by the fact that when I woke up from being thrown, he hadn’t been there. And that he couldn’t ignore his phone or the outside world for a short amount of time to be with me.
