It was only because of my faith in God that I was able to press forward. I flourished at work, but on the inside, deep in my heart, I was a shell. A shell of the man I was with Niya. I recited the serenity prayer, which became my mantra. I said it all the time. I was actively being pursued to move to Washington D.C. next summer but I resisted. Because of Niya.
Niya. Niya. Niya.She filled my thoughts and dreams.
Then I saw her.
I had an appointment at the college to talk to some recruits. For a moment, I wondered if she was an illusion because of how much I had been thinking of her. But the woman scurrying across the lawn was very real.
She’d cut her hair and dyed it blonde but I would recognize my love anywhere. She had a stack of books in her hand. My heart pumped in my chest and my throat went dry. I looked at my watch. My appointment was in fifteen minutes. I needed to walk in the opposite direction to the administration office. But my feet had other plans. I propelled after her, running like there was a herd of elephants chasing me.
“Niya,” I called out.
She stopped and faced me, holding up a hand. “You can’t come within 50 feet of me. Why can’t you leave me alone? I want nothing to do with you after what you did. Ordidn’tdo.” Her voice and eyes were Antarctica-cold, but I couldn’t let that deter me. I figured I had nothing but pride to lose and even that was running on low.
“I know.” I nodded. “But I have to talk to you. Please. I only need three minutes of your time to say three things.” I held up three fingers. “Three minutes and three things and then you never have to hear from me again. You can call the cops on me after if you want but please just hear me out.”
“A lot of good that’s gonna do, since your best friends are officers in this town. Oh, wait—are they really your friends or are you planning to set them up, too?”
“Niya. Come on,” I pleaded. “Youknowme.”
She chewed on her bottom lip and adjusted the books in her hand but she didn’t walk away. I used that as my cue to start talking.
“First of all, I’m glad to see you’ve started school. That’s awesome. Second, I got the results of the paternity test and it turns out you were right. Lakesha is still denying it but I am positive RayRay isn’t mine.”
I paused, hoping to see a response but Niya remained stone-faced. I felt despondency seep in. Niya didn’t appear interested in hearing anything I had to say. But I pressed on.
“Third, I love you more than life itself. I will never stop loving you. You’ll always be in my heart. I intend to wait for you until eternity if I have to.” My voice broke but I was glad I had spoken what I felt.
She met my eyes then and lifted a brow. “I’ve heard you out. Anything else?”
Wow. My shoulders slumped. I realized then it was time for me to cut the last shred of hope I had been holding onto in my heart. I took a step back. “No. That’s all I had to say. Thank you for listening.”
She gave a jerky nod and spun on her heels. Then she paused and my heart skipped a beat. But her next words crushed me. “Don’t contact me again. If I never hear from you or see you, it will be too soon. You got that?”
I lifted my chin, summoning the shrapnel of pride I had left, despite the devastation that filled my entire being. “Yes,” I whispered. “You’ve made your wishes crystal clear and since that’s how you want it, that’s how it will be.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and trekked across campus to my meeting. Without Niya, there was no reason to stay in Lovetown. I drew a deep breath. After my meeting today, I’d make a call. If Washington D.C.’s offer was still open, I would accept. Maybe distance would heal my heart and give me the power to move on.
