Mike held up a hand. “It’s all good, Niya. I know the deal.”
My shoulders slumped. “Good. As long as you know this is a favor. Nothing else.”
“It’s all good,” he said. Just then Sean rushed in front of the car, and Mike slammed on the brakes. He lowered his window. “Yo, you trying to get yourself killed, man?”
“Niya,” Sean called out, coming over to lean his head into the car. “Niya. I need to talk to you.”
I folded my arms and looked at Mike. “Drive.”
Mike raised a brow.
“Niya, please get out the car and talk to me,” Sean said.
I hated how he was drawing attention to us. “Leave me alone,” I shouted. “I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“Whoa,” Mike exclaimed, holding up both hands. “What’s going on?” He looked between the two of us with wide eyes.
“Mike,” I said, through gritted teeth, “if you know what’s good for you, you won’t ask me any questions, you’ll just drive. Drive the car.”
Mike eyed me and must have realized I was serious before he said to Sean. “Step off, man.”
“Niya, I need you,” Sean pleaded in a hoarse voice before he backed away.
I looked Sean square in the eyes and spilled the wretched words from my heart. “I wish it had been you instead of Jhavon.”
Mike took off.
I hated myself for doing it, but I glanced into the rearview mirror, allowing myself one last look at the man I loved.
No, I didn’t. I couldn’t love my brother’s killer.
I closed my eyes and my heart, resenting the tears that dared to spill for a killer. But they had a will of their own. My lips quivered and my body trembled before a sob broke through.
Mike reached across me, his fingers grazing my leg. I froze before realizing he was opening the glove box. Mike grabbed the box of tissues and handed them to me. Then he turned the radio on, most likely to drown out the sound of my tears.
“Thank you,” I said, grateful for his thoughtfulness. It had taken all my strength to be able to say those two words before my emotional dam broke. I turned my body away and leaned into the passenger window and cried.
Like a sad love song, it started to rain. I welcomed it. God was crying along with me. I cried the entire journey home. And, when I got into the house, Jazzy stood waiting.
She scanned me from head to toe before opening her arms. I rushed into her embrace and to my surprise, I had enough water in my body to cry more tears.
“What happened?” she asked, rocking me. “Where’s Sean?”
I held my chest as my body heaved. “He. Oh God, I can’t say the words,” I said.
She stiffened and pulled away. “What can’t you say? Niya, you’re not making any sense and you’re scaring me.” She wiped my face and cupped my cheeks with her hands. “What is going on with you? Did something happen with Sean?”
I licked my dry, chapped lips. “He… He told me—”
“Wait,” she said, dragging me to my feet. “Big needs to hear this.”
I shook my head and dug my heels in. “I can’t tell Big. It might…” My voice dropped. “It might… She might get another heartevent.”
Jazzy hesitated before placing her hands on her hips. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
I forcedhisname out of my lips. “Sean… It was Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean.” I screamed and pulled at my hair. “He’s responsible for Jhavon’s death.”
Jazzy shook me. “Calm down and talk to me.”
I nodded, took several breaths, and peered into Jazzy’s eyes that had gone dark and cold. Chilled, I rubbed the goosebumps on my arm.
“You’d better explain,” she commanded. “Don’t leave anything out.”
