“You’re right,” I whispered. For the first time, I saw Lakesha’s son not as hers but as mine, as ours. I saw RayRay’s face and my heart cracked. I sucked in a breath, realizing this was my first time thinking of RayRay as my son. I looked down at my feet. Could I live with myself if he ended up behind bars, dead, or even worse, killing someone else because I rejected him? I knew the two-letter answer to that question.
My eyes filled and I faced Mike. “You’re right,” I admitted. “I’m being selfish. It’s all about me. I don’t want to go to Niya with baggage. I wanted to have my first child under the sanctity of marriage.”
“Well, you didn’t,” Mike said without sympathy. “So, get over it and help your son.”
“Yes.” I nodded. Shame poured over my being. “I think I’ll give Lakesha a call. I owe it to myself to at least find out the truth.”
“You owe it to him. Little man needs you.”
Mike’s words seeped into my heart and I felt it expand. I straightened and scrolled to Lakesha’s text message and hit the dial button. She answered on the second ring.
“Uh, hi. I was calling to arrange a time we could talk and I could meet with RayRay.” I hated that I sounded tongue-tied but fatherhood was new to me. How did one meet the son he never knew?
Lakesha sucked her teeth. “No need to bother yourself. You think I’m going to wait forever for you to decide you ready to be a father and reach out to your son? Is that how you think this was going to play out?” She rambled like a run-on sentence, not waiting for my response. No commas. No periods. Lakesha answered her own question and kept going with the one-sided conversation. I put my phone on speaker so Mike could hear. “No way no how, somebody gonna play me like that. Someone else is taking your place. Yessir. Willie is more than happy to spend time with RayRay. So he won’t need you to do him any favors. Willie is taking him for ice cream tomorrow. What you got to say about that?”
Mike’s eyes were as wide as I’m sure mine were. “Wh—Who? Which Willie are you talking about?” I finally managed to ask.
“Willie Haynes.”
Unease hit my stomach with the force of a boulder hitting the ground.
That cannot happen.
I knew God’s voice.
Then Mike’s reaction confirmed it. His mouth dropped. “No. No, dude,” he mouthed.
“You can’t be serious,” I sputtered. “I don’t want Willie Haynes anywhere near my son.”
“Your son?” Lakesha bellowed. “Ain’t this something. Now he’syourson. He wasn’t your son five minutes ago, so why does this even concern you?” Thankfully, she paused, giving me the opening I needed to answer.
I hurried to formulate the right words before she decided to continue her tirade. “I know I did wrong and I didn’t handle the news well. But I needed time to come to grips with being somebody’s father.”
“Humph. Well, my friend, this is a case of too little, too late. RayRay don’t need you and as for me, all I can say is good riddance.”
Panic rose within me. I bent closer to the phone. “Lakesha, please don’t let that man near my—I mean your son. I am begging you. Willie’s got issues.”
“How do you know that?”
“As soon as you mentioned Willie’s name, God spoke to me. You don’t want him near your child.”
She snorted with laughter. “God’s talking to you now? You mean to tell me God didn’t tell you what you were doing was wrong? Or, do you only listen to Him when it’s convenient or what you want to hear? Some kind of Christian you are, running from your responsibility.” I hated that I had caused her and my son pain.
Mike covered his mouth to keep his laughter from escaping. “She read you,” he mouthed again.
Her voice broke and I heard sniffling, like she was trying not to cry. “I didn’t make this child by myself.”
Lakesha wasn’t biting her tongue. But I listened beyond her. I knew God was chastising me and all I could do was accept it. “I wasn’t listening to God’s voice before, but I’m listening now.”
“Well, it’s too late. If you want a relationship with RayRay, you’re going to have to wait in line. Behind Willie. He’s a real man. He stepped up when you didn’t.” Lakesha cut the call.
I held the phone in my hand, mystified. What had I done?
Mike spoke up. “Willie isn’t a real man. He’s a suspected pedophile.”
My feet almost gave way. “What? How can you know this and not arrest him? Why is he free to walk the streets if he’s messing with kids?”
Mike rubbed his chin. “Because we have no solid proof, only suspicions. But from high school, I knew something was off about him. Word is, somebody from Willie’s family—an uncle or cousin or somebody—sexually assaulted him as a kid. I don’t know if the rumors were true, but I’ve had several calls about Willie sitting in the park watching the kids play. Technically, there isn’t anything wrong with that and I have no proof so all I can do is ask him to vacate the premises.” He shook his head. “I haven’t found the glove that fits so I must acquit. But in my mind, he’s guilty as sin. It’s just a matter of time before I get him though.” Mike cleared his throat. “Willie’s done well for himself financially. After his father died, he had the good sense to use that insurance money and invest in a laundromat and dry cleaners. That’s probably how he met Lakesha. Everybody and their momma be in his joints.”
