9
Sean
“You got kicked to the curb faster than an ice cream cone melts in Florida heat.” Mike chuckled, leaning back into the couch that had set me back a good four grand. “The relationship that almost never was. You better get to singing and dancing to ‘Kiki, DoYouLoveMe?’ like the rest of the world.”
I bit my cheek to keep from answering because I knew any response I tried to provide was going to sound not only weak but also pitiful. I also ignored Mike’s reference to some song I didn’t know. I related to William McDowell’s “Wrap Me in Your Arms”and wouldn’t be ashamed to say I could use a hug. But Mike was too busy with the jokes to show me any empathy.
“I’m sorry I called you over here,” I said through my teeth. That was my comeback.
“I’m glad you called because you and I needed to catch up.” Mike pressed the auto switch and the chair expanded into a recliner. “So when did you and Niya become an item?”
I sat in the loveseat across from him. “I don’t even know if you could call what we are an item. Yet.” I refused to talk about our relationship in the past tense. I knew Niya was the one for me, knew that since forever, and I was patient enough to wait until she got the same message.
Mike lifted a brow. “You’re optimistic.”
“When you’re sure about someone, you have no choice but to be. And, I’m sure my feelings for Niya are the real deal. She’s the woman God has for me.”
He held up a hand. “Whoa. I didn’t know it was like that.”
“Yes, it is like that,” I said. “That’s why I want to know what happened between the two of you.”
This time Mike lifted both hands. “Nothing went down. Nothing worth talking about anyway. I tried to kick to her but Niya wasn’t having it.” He rubbed his chin. “I don’t know why. I know I’m quite the catch, but I never even made it to the game with that one. She sure is fine though. And smart. I just settle with admiring her from afar. So you’re free to see, my man.”
My shoulders sagged. I was glad to hear that nothing had transpired between them. It would’ve been too messy for my taste but that wouldn’t have stopped me. I was that sure of Niya’s future role in my life.
“Thanks for coming straight with me,” I said.
Mike shrugged. “Wasn’t much to say.” He cocked his head. “So, do you plan on calling Lakesha and straightening out this whole situation with your son?”
“He’s not my son,” I shot back.
Mike raised a brow, daring me. “How do you know that?”
I averted my eyes. “I feel it in my gut. There’s no way I could be a father and not know it.”
Mike eyes bulged. “You’re denying a child based on your gut?” He shook his head. “I’m not buying that nonsense, and you’re way too intelligent to believe that crap. There’s one sure way to find out,” he challenged. “Take a paternity test.”
I shook my head. To take a paternity test was to open myself up to the possibility... No. I wasn’t going that route. I was quite content to swim the Nile, ignoring the truth of crocodiles threatening to swallow me whole.
“What for?” I voiced aloud. “Paternity tests are for those with questions. I don’t need any answers. I don’t have any doubts.”
“You’re a chicken,” Mike said, his voice filled with contempt. “Turning your back on a child is a real punkish move. I would never have expected that from you.”
I felt smaller than a fruit fly but I kept my back straight. Mike’s disappointment hung over me like a rain-filled cloud. I wanted to continue to stay under my umbrella of denial. It was real shady under here. Sort of like me.
I shifted, not liking that feeling.
“A child is not a convenience or in this case, an inconvenience,” Mike continued. “The boy is not an item in the store you pick up, change your mind, and then return to the shelf. He’s a human, with feelings. And, he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Those last words struck a nerve. I jumped to my feet. “You’re right. He doesn’t deserve me.” I paced. “That boy doesn’t deserve someone who doesn’t know a thing about raising a child.” I faced Mike, meeting his gaze. “You think I want to abuse him the way I was abused? You were there. You know what Pop did to me. You think I want to inflict that on another human being?” My chest heaved. “He’s better off without me.”
Mike stood and came over to place a hand on my shoulder. “What if you’re all he has? What then?”
My heart stopped for a second. I swallowed then stiffened. “He has his mother.” But even as the words left my mouth, I knew I had spoken a lie.
Mike knew it too. His eyes narrowed. “You think Lakesha is equipped to raise a man? I know society is all about the independent ladies but it takes a man to raise a man. Especially a black man capable of navigating today’s world. If your son grows up to be a menace, you’ll have yourself to blame. Because you took your golden opportunity to shape a life and buried it under your own selfish pride.” His hands flailed. “Do you know how many of us I’ve had to put behind bars because of absentee, deadbeat dads leaving the women and children to fend for themselves?”
Absentee. Deadbeat. Those were not the adjectives I wanted to follow my name.
