8
Niya
When somebody shows you their butt, you don’t have to smell it to know it stinks.Despite my wounded heart, I chuckled as I remembered one of Big’s analogies. Big had her own way of saying things. She said her sayings came from some time she’d spent with her Caribbean grandmother. “They got a saying for everything.” She had laughed. “Phraseology.”
Though I wondered how much longer I’d be able to hear her island wisdom, the memory of her words brought a smile to my face.
“What you laughing at?” Jazzy asked, huddled close to me. It had been close to forty minutes since Sean left and we were still waiting on word about Big’s condition.
“Just thinking about Big, her phraseologies as she calls it,” I said.
“I bet I know which one,” Jazzy said. “Sean’s butt sure was stinking tonight.”
“Yep. Mr. I’m-a-Believer surprised me big time.”
“Humph. Not me. To use another one of Big’s sayings, the only thingholyabout Sean right now is his drawers. Now, I don’t know why she had a fascination with butts and undergarments but I have to admit, Big was spot on.” She snapped her fingers. “Another Bigology that is truth: God is dropping Sean’s pants and showing everybody the skid marks on his drawers.”
I don’t know if it was because I was scared of Big dying, but Jazzy’s recollections broke the tension. Laughter bubbled up and overflowed. I clutched my stomach and laughed until Jazzy joined me. We laughed until we were both crying.
It took several minutes before we got our laughter under control.
I wiped the tears from my face. “I’m gonna miss Big and her famous sayings.”
Jazzy got serious in a millisecond. She jabbed a finger into my chest. “Don’t you start that nonsense. Big isn’t dead.”
“Yet,” I filled in. “But one day, she’s gonna be gone.”
“Not today. She’s tough,” Jazzy continued. “Big has several more years left in her. She’s too stubborn to go out that easy. Big would chase you with a switch if she knew you were giving up on her.”
“I’m not. I won’t.” I clung to Jazzy’s words with all the optimism I could muster. “You think we should try praying?”
Jazzy looked unsure but she nodded. “I don’t know nothing about praying, so you go.”
“I don’t know what to say to God,” I said.
“I guess you just have to—”
“Expose yourself to Him like you butt naked in the shower, ’cause He can see you anyhow,” we both uttered. Another of Big’s phrases. But this time, instead of laughing, I squeezed my eyes to keep the tears at bay. All my life, I had had Big. She had been my rock. The only constant in my life. Who could replace her?
I can.
I heard a whisper plain as day and scrunched my nose.Who was that?The voice sounded friendly, familiar.
Jazzy tapped my shoulder. “You plan on starting the prayer in this lifetime? Big needs you today.”
I gave a quick nod and closed my eyes. There was no way I could tell Jazzy I was hearing voices. I cleared my throat. “Dear God, please don’t take Big from us yet. We still need her down here. She’s all we’ve had all our lives. Now I know You might be saying, me and Jazzy are grown now, but we still need Big.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I know I don’t check in with You like I should, but…” my voice broke.
Why would God even listen to this stupid prayer when He had professional prayers in His ear night and day? I forced myself to continue. “Please hear my prayer. I know I’m not good at it but I’m begging you to listen and hear the words from my heart.”
“Mine too,” Jazzy added.
I finished with, “Sincerely, Jazzy and Me, Niya. Amen.” I sobbed. “P.S., I don’t know how good this prayer is, but I hope You heard it anyway. Amen, again.”
When I opened my eyes, I looked into eyes like mine, reddened with tears. My sister and I held onto each other and cried again.
“You did good,” Jazzy said with a sniffle.
Dr. Mendez approached.
