I didn’t take the card. His mum’s voice echoed in my head. I hadn’t meant to hint that he should buy me something—I had simply been stating a fact. These events had a dress code, and I didn’t have the right clothes.
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not? There’s no limit on the card.”
I snorted, not sure if he was joking or not. “It’s not about that. I can’t let you keep spending money on me. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
Henry looked at me. His expression was sceptical, as if he suspected someone had put the thought in my head. “Kate, I think you’re the only person in this hotel whoisn’tcurrently taking advantage of me. Whether it’s because of my reputation, my expertise, or my connections—everyone wants something from me. You’re the only person who isn’t asking me for something. And you don’t have to, because I already want to give you everything.”
Everything.The word sent a warm heat spreading through me, and once again the overwhelming desire to be kissed by Henry came flooding back with full force. “You... I don’t want you to think I’m just interested in your money.”
“I didn’t think that for a second.”
“Not even when I blackmailed you for four thousand pounds?”
“No, not even then. Although that was pretty naive of me,” he answered with a smile so charming that the butterflies in my stomach fluttered even harder. “Let me buy you a dress, Kate. I wouldn’t just be doing it for you. I’d be doing it for myself too. I want you by my side at the ball. You can wear your leather jacket, for all I care, but something tells me you won’t want to. So...” He held out his sleek black credit card insistently.
It was his expression rather than his words that convinced me. He genuinely seemed to want me there with him at the ball, and I wanted to be there for him. Just as he was there for me.
“Fine! But I won’t buy anything expensive, and I’m only borrowing the money. I’ll pay you back as soon as I get my first paycheck.” Which would be soon. I had been working at The Darlington for nearly a month, and October was almost over.
“You don’t have to,” Henry assured me.
“But I want to. It’s important to me.”
He nodded. He understood. Just like he’d understood about the second job. I didn’t just want to stand on my own two feet; Ihadto. So that I had a choice. And so that I could choose him without doubting my own reasons for doing so.
“Does that mean you’ll be my date?” His voice was so hopeful that I refused to think about his mum’s accusations any longer. I wanted to see Henry happy, and for whatever inexplicable reason, the prospect of going to the masked ball with me of all people seemed to make him happy. Which in turn made me happy.
I smiled. “That’s exactly what it means.”
32
Every day is a blank canvas.
Paint it with the colours of your soul.
Logan’s mindfulness calendar
Henry
In the last few weeks, I’d hardly had a moment for myself. My calendar was crammed with appointments. Rakesh had taken a lot off my plate, yet most of the workload still landed on me. The temptation to cancel today’s bouldering session was strong, but I knew I’d feel better afterwards. I felt like the walls were closing in on me at the hotel—which wasn’t much of a surprise, given that the precious little time I had away from my office, where I sat from dawn until well past dusk, was spent arguing with Vivian or my dad.
I loved the hotel, but right now, I hated my work. The only highlight of my dreary routine was Kate. We messaged a lot, but that only got me through her waking hours, because she had to sleep at some point. And I didn’t want to rob her of her sleep, even if I often fantasised about us keeping each other up at night. But as much as I longed to be in bed with her again, something held me back from going to her. Probably the same part of me that hadheld back from kissing her that night in her bed, even though she had clearly wanted me to.
Maybe it was my fear of dragging Kate even further into the maelstrom of my family’s problems. Or maybe it was just my guilty conscience. Kate had been completely on her own for months. I could only imagine the horrors she must have endured on the streets. She had come a long way since then, but deep down, the frightened woman I had found in the park that day was still there. I had sensed that all too clearly when she had told me about Mr. Fleming.
Despite everything that had happened to her, she trusted me, and I didn’t want to break that trust, let alone take advantage of it. Kate needed a friend more than a lover—someone who would support her, stand by her, and help make her world a fairer place. She deserved a shot at a decent life. That was what I should have been focussing on, not how good she felt in my arms, how incredible she smelled, or how adorable the little sounds she made when she slept were. But despite knowing all that, it hadn’t stopped me from asking her to accompany me to the masked ball. As my date.
Because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Because I wanted to spend time with her.
Because I wanted to dance, wrapped in her embrace.
Because I needed her close to me, even if it was just as a friend.
Sweating, my muscles burning, and my head a little clearer, I wrapped up my bouldering session. The only sounds in the gym—which I’d had to myself this morning, as usual—were those of my footsteps and heavy breathing. I showered quickly, and ten minutes later, I was behind the wheel of my Bentley, driving back to the hotel. It wasn’t quite rush hour yet, and the streets of London were still relatively empty. A Sleep Token song played over the speakers,and my fingers drummed rhythmically against the steering wheel, as if they had a life of their own. Suddenly, the music was interrupted by an incoming call.
